I feel like we need to explain 
again, amongst other things
Man how has nobody mentioned “kill all slave owners” yet? That’s the whole reason the chapo subreddit got banned in the first place (ostensibly, of course)
that’s really part of the true origins: kill all slave owners, john brown did nothing wrong, spez is a paedophile who dreams of owning slaves, etc
@[email protected] is a shared account. One day, a user just gave it away by posting the password and saying they didn’t want it anymore. Like 20 of us logged into at the same time and found out the site didn’t break. So that’s why you’ll see the pups talking to themselves…it’s multiple people all sharing the same account.
A real testament to the immortal science of Marxism-Leninism-Moo Dengism the account hasn’t been banned or misused. Just like we share a single, giant, comically large spoon, we share a comically large bit account.
Ulysses is a former user who has gone offline to touch grass. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. The first time he did, he said it was for opsec reasons. Henry Kissenger died the next day. We suspect Ulysses got him. Ulysses came back some time later, posted for a bit, then deleted his account to go touch more grass. That’s when the CEO got clipped in NYC. We think Ulysses was behind this assassination as well, with Luigi being some patsy chud Ulysses framed so he can continue getting away with it.
Also don’t forget to put “main” in your post when posting on Main.
Went back at the oldest posts and This is where it started I think
This seems to be the only comment older than that post though the search function is a bit weird at timesFrom that first thread someone had a really fun idea we should do sometime
Dang, no outdoor cat posting yet?
That must have taken a lot of restraint.
We need a !lore comm where we have the source for every emoji, every tagline, even a bunch of the past pivots/struggle sessions/rule changes.
Can the /slop /dredge_tank strugglesessions be part of the indoctrination or would it be better if we pretended that never happened?
We should have a hall of fame for legendary posters. It can only be retroactive, no active posters allowed.
pootr kropotkin
7deadlysins
bmf
beatnik
ulyssest
enver
me (uwu)
liveral socalist
shitty bird
dirty owl
gay hobbes
quilly qotesawoo
yes
Our most famous meme is that the “40% of cops beat their spouses” study first went viral on r/chapotraphouse, our old subreddit.
The tag “Genocide Joe,” referring to Joe Biden’s support for the genocide of Palestinian people, may have originated here, from @[email protected] . I can’t find earlier references, but it may just be one of those names that multiple people thought of at once.
Ask a better storyteller to talk about “Post hog.”
I’ll chime in a bit on the hog part. In the subreddit days of yore, we’d frequently get brigaded by the likes of r/The_Donald and other fascist hive minds, and when logic failed on them (logic always fails on fascists) we’d run them off with a bit of playful goading of their homophobia by asking them to post a photo of their “hog”, or male sex organs. This led to an increased usage of the strategy of quickly dispatching would-be brigadiers with the phrase of “post hog”. (As a quick aside, one especially clever Chapo once made a post entitled “Post hog” and the body of the post said “ergo propter hog”, which was a silly reference to the logical fallacy “post hoc ergo propter hoc”. Anyway, this is where my username comes from. No clue who that chapo was but I stole it because it was all I could come up with in the moment when making my account.) The hog business eventually led to other hog-adjacent shenanigans, such as responding to fascists with a picture of a pig with poop on its balls. This had a similar effect as the aforementioned homophobia goading.
Oh god, it’s even better than that. The original “post hog,” actually got a chud to post their hog. Somebody wore a chud down in an argument and eventually asked them to prove something-or-other by linking an image of their junk to reddit, and they went and posted their hog
Screenshots from 4chan saying “do not post on chapo. they don’t get baited. they don’t even get triggered. they just aggressively ask for pictures of your junk. honestly i feel really uncomfortable now.”
I was there for that. It was extremely funny. The username of the chud was something like “jaredsw” which means there’s probably some guy from the southwest named Jared and I’ve seen his dingus.
spend enough time in the southwest and you’re gonna see a jared’s dingus. it’s inevitable.
And in some cases, even desirable
I hate to break this to you, but that username is probably a reference to “Jared at Subway.”
To add to this, one of the commenters in that thread found his Grindr account almost immediately because the username was the same as his Reddit account. This incident predates the mods locking the subreddit the day that it hit 69,420 subscribers; I think we were in the high 40k range?
it isn’t okay to close the sub for a joke.
I was so annoyed about that lock lol
Me too. CTH was about the only relief valve that I got after dealing with my rabid Trumper coworkers. Where the hell was I going to go, Twitter?
It was funny as hell looking back though
I can’t believe we’re getting the “closing the sub for a joke isn’t okay” struggle session ityool 2024
subreddit got banned around 150k or 200k i think? i found the sub at 16k.
Sub went downhill after 16k users
Sub went downhill after users
Uphold CTH3 thought
R/cth popularised “ok boomer”, though I think the demographics since then have massively shifted
Kissenger getting killed by one of us is fun too
Do not mention a former Obama Admin Secretary of State who ran against Bush in 04.
Reporting for doody!
john kerry, BMF, why can’t you be open about your stalinism,
Silver legion
I actually don’t know the dprk soldier thing. But the only thing I been think of when I see the post pic is “look at this dumbass”.
Someone uploaded the image and it broke the site. That might have also been what made the image look like that.
That’s amazing, whodunit?
Yes, the image was corrupt in some way and it took down the entire site. I had a copy from that time and opening it on my computer instantly shot my cpu temp to 85C and took up something like 4GB of RAM
The image resolution size was absolutely massive and processing it was the reason the site crashed
Is there a link to the image? I must see it!
lol thank you
Hexbear: A Website where everyone is friends with FlakesBongler and says they’re cool and awesome
Hahaha yes we do do that
He he you said doodoo
He who smelt it dealt it 🫵
me reading this chain
I’d love that and I’m not even as new as some of these other people.
Would also love to know what the deal with the beanis thing is.
Beanis means Beanis
[Sung to a thrumming new wave baseline]
🎵When a problem comes along, you must Beanis!
When there’s something goin’ wrong, you must Beanis!
I say Beanis
Beanis good🎵
It’s just a funny word
A lot of things like beanis are just cause it’s funny. I’ve been using hexbear lingo irl long enough my co workers know what 'treatbrained ’ means but there is for sure some dense terminology going on even when it’s dumb as hell.
‘Treats’ are shorthand for basically any luxury to an extent but and to be ‘treatbrained’ is to have some sort of fetishism for some form of consumable or entertainment product. It makes more sense when read in context consistently.
my co workers know what 'treatbrained ’ means
Have you familiarized them with what ‘bazinga brained’ means?
I don’t know what that means
Gambo
“treats” has an added connotation of… something like triviality, imo
like yachts are disgusting luxury but not a treat, treats are your cheesecake factory and video games
True
I think the love for :beanis: does also feed into the veganism espoused and practiced by many HB users. Beans are good. And they also have an association with farting which is also crude and funny. All round good
/c/badposting sprung a leak in the most vegan-friendly way possible. That’s it. That’s the whole origin story. Someone made a shitpost and we’re still running with it to this day, like many things in the Hexbear/CTH lexicon. (Hexicon?)
Of course it’s just that lol
Everybody do the beanis
AOC is doing what the unions want her to do is from a legendary struggle session during the railroad strike 2yrs ago. A user called liberal socialist started spamming threads with it, eventually getting banned.
Also the photos of her crying at the border are basically a meme at this point considering all the compromise she’s done since.
power dynamics
Do you disagree?
Does anyone remember
?I forgot about president parrot until just now! We have deep lore, it’s mostly silly and oddly bird based at times.
I have infected this site with birds.
I should bring back bird posting
Birds are cool as hell. I’m a crow guy rn but working my way to other birdwatching. There is just an amazing and kinda exemplary crow community city right in the trees of my neighborhood that I’ve been keeping an eye on for almost 2 years now. We could learn from crows. They’re the real neighborhood, the people are alienated units. I spent a day last year watching them build nests and not only were they strategically building nests so each one could get a view of other nests they were sharing materials, I’d see the same crow bringing stuff to different nests and kinda cross referenced it with what they wee carrying and it was pretty clear they were tsking what was needed to where it was needed even if it wasn’t their nest. They built a community together. Crows are literally comrades.
I should bring back bird posting
you mean late night catposting
Of course
I think I completely missed that. Care to elaborate?
My first bit on this site, possibly my worst lmao.
Fake news stories about a parrot (President Parrot, shortened to PP) being president and managing to be better than a real politician despite being a chaotic neutral parrot that just wants crackers.
Beware, these are pretty cringe (but let’s be real I’ve always been cringe) lmao:
https://hexbear.net/post/61555
https://hexbear.net/post/61583
https://hexbear.net/post/79474
This is gold and the comments are gold too
bring back pp. Maybe give it some long stockings.
Did you write this at the lathe?
Oh, shit that was you? I liked the bit.
Ngl, it’s a pretty dumb bit and I love it! Genuine lol
That was a good bit though
Thanks for sharing your PP with all of us, my feathery friend.
Ah yes, President Parrot
Narrowly edged out President Porpoise in the election of '18
Haha, edged.
nice I should be part of this now
This one needs an additional return and leaving
just reminded myself that i literally got an emoji created because of how often i pointed out the officer down emoji was broken
Same goes for this one
someone pointed out it was messed up after an update and we got this commemoration
Awww, now I miss Enver. Also, BASED_BALL is redundant with the outdoor cat struggle session.
Edit: And it’s missing “UlyssesT killed Kissinger”
my babyGotta update it though ofc
I have struggled for years to remember Prince Kropotkin’s name.Thabk you SO much, I can finally sleep
pootr kropotkin or someone else?
u/Prince_Kropotkin was a notorious poster on various leftist subreddits. I remember him mostly for posting an actual gameplan to persuade liberals on the evils of capitalism, but he often got in arguments with leftists as well, about the usual sorts of things leftists argue about.
huh, sounds like a real type
