i-cant

  • supafuzz [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    12 days ago

    $60,000 reward with a “terms and conditions apply, you ain’t never gonna see this money” asterisk is just about the most American thing ever. Everything is always a scam, no exceptions

  • 2Password2Remember [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    12 days ago
    1. honestly good, fuck that shithead

    2. bourgeoisie showing their whole ass by not even rewarding the class traitors who help them. hopefully this story spreads far and wide and discourages future stitch-getters

    3. our ruling class is so aggressively incompetent, it would be funny if we weren’t still losing

    Death to America

    • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      12 days ago

      our ruling class is so aggressively incompetent, it would be funny if we weren’t still losing

      One of the brighter billionaires will :redacted-1::redacted-2:

      logs

      known reality warper and accidental :lathe-of-heaven:

      pruned :redacted-1::redacted-2: to maintain temporal continuity

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.netM
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    12 days ago

    Best possible outcome would be for this guy to not get the money. Show future would be snitches that there’s no point

  • Grownbravy [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    12 days ago

    i hope it was worth it, a life changing amount of money dangled in front of your face and the rules are so fucking obfuscating that you cant even be sure if you still qualify after reading the rules.

    • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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      12 days ago

      i bet they’re so disconnected that they didn’t even know that there was a reward.

        • Bidentime [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          12 days ago

          Okay. Easier for 3 years.

          Life changing is not free rent for a few years.

          Life changing is being removed from your immediate circumstances. 60k. At most would make life a bit more bearable

          • CrawlMarks [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            12 days ago

            Nah, hold that L. That is enough to completely change the circumstances of a person working for fast food wages. I respect doubling down when you are wrong but you are still wrong.

            • Bidentime [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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              12 days ago

              60k is not a lot. It just isn’t. If you guys think it’s a lot cool. I don’t.

              Also what’s the tax status on these rewards? Gift or taxable? If taxable even less

              Also if it’s actually life changing does that mean you would of narcd if the amount was 100% going to be given to you?

              • CrawlMarks [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                12 days ago

                I wouldn’t. If I had a kid though I don’t know if I could make such a principled stance. I would for sure commit heinous crimes for thst kinda money, I think most bank heists get less than that nowadays. 60K would fix every problem I have. New glasses, new shoes, car fixed, debits paid, with enough left over to start a new school or training program and have a vacation to celebrate with a small ammoint saved for emergencies. As most people have zero emergency savings and lots of probelms that would absolutely change my life.

        • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
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          11 days ago

          Or half of a single emergency room visit. Which I think may be appropriate, considering the circumstances.

  • Bureaucrat@hexbear.net
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    12 days ago

    Related - I really hate how most people write articles. Halfway in and there’s still no followup on the statement made by the headline. On top of that the headline is immediately repeated in the text and the premise is then restated several times.
    We get the “bizzare rule” answered with the second to last sentence

    So, if the informant called 911 instead of Crime Stoppers, they might be unable to make the claim.

    This is what the article is about, but you can’t get around to it until the very end because the article has to be written like an 8th graders essay

      • Bureaucrat@hexbear.net
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        12 days ago

        That’s definitely a large part of it, but it is also just the US style. I see it much less in non-US publications. It probably has something to do with the US having an abysmal reading level.

    • graymess [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      12 days ago

      It’s literally the opposite structure of the journalistic inverted pyramid format. Most relevant sentences go right at the top, further details below. Articles used to be intentionally written so you could stop reading at any point and walk away with most of the information.

    • AmericaDeserved711 [any]@hexbear.net
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      12 days ago

      the crime stoppers thing is only about the $10k from NY. this is what the article says about the FBI’s $50k

      The rules are complicated, as they stipulate tipsters in with a chance of the FBI portion of the reward cannot nominate themselves.

      This means the McDonald’s worker will have to be put forward by an investigating agency, such as the Department of Defense or the FBI, which is then reviewed by an interagency committee.

      If approved, the suggestion is passed on to the Secretary of State, who signs off on the final decision.

      so the FBI has to put the rat’s name forward and the secretary of state has to approve it. so what? I’m unconvinced they will screw over the rat given how public this story is, and fully convinced this article is clickbait trash

  • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    12 days ago

    The tip-off from the employee is apparently crucial in the case, but the question remains if the worker will be able to cash in on the $60k reward at all. The rules are complicated, as they stipulate tipsters in with a chance of the FBI portion of the reward cannot nominate themselves.

    This means the McDonald’s worker will have to be put forward by an investigating agency, such as the Department of Defense or the FBI, which is then reviewed by an interagency committee. If approved, the suggestion is passed on to the Secretary of State, who signs off on the final decision.

    If that’s not tough enough, the full reward amount could also be in dispute as payment amounts are based on factors from the value of the information provided, the level of threat, the severity of danger or injury to people or property, and the degree of the source’s cooperation. As for the NYPD’s $10k, the rewards program is granted through Crime Stoppers, where tipsters receive a unique reference number.

    This number is crucial as the tipster has to use it call back or check the status of the investigation online before lodging a claim with the NYC Police Foundation and the Crime Stoppers Board of Directors, who ultimately decide whether to approve the tip and instruct the caller how to receive it. So, if the informant called 911 instead of Crime Stoppers, they might be unable to make the claim.

    In both cases, the rewards will only be paid out if the arrest leads to indictment or conviction from the court - so the McDonald’s employee could be waiting a while and even at the end of it all, might not even get a dime.

    • Bureaucrat@hexbear.net
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      12 days ago

      I remember when I found a bunch of stolen goods and handed it in to the cops after I’d find out as much as possible about the goods (it was jewellry thrown in a lake, my family thinks somebody hit it there after doing a break-in and would wait for the heat to die off). We’d cleaned up the silverware, found names, dates, all sorts of stuff that could help the cops find the owners. Lots of family heirlooms. I handed it in so my little sister could learn something about doing The Good Thing and Helping Others, plus we found some fun in talking about the finders’ fee.
      Three days later I come back and the cops say they didn’t receive any goods that day, and I also spot two of them wearing watches that were among the goods handed in. one of them winked at me.

    • Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org
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      12 days ago

      so the McDonald’s employee could be waiting a while and even at the end of it all, might not even get a dime.

    • falgscode [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      12 days ago

      The rules are complicated, as they stipulate tipsters in with a chance of the FBI portion of the reward cannot nominate themselves.

      Idk what that means. in particular

      tipsters in with a chance

      • PointAndClique [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        12 days ago

        It’s awkwardly written definitely, and I’m not sure I’ve parsed it correctly either but:

        tipsters in with a chance

        I read as ‘tipsters who have a chance’. ‘in with a chance’ is the phrase here that sits awkwardly. It appears another verb has been elided and adding one back in e.g. “Tipsters who have a chance of receiving the FBI portion…” would be more complete and easier to read imo but it’s still a mess of a sentence.

        As for the self-nomination, it’s addressed in the next paragraph

        This means the McDonald’s worker will have to be put forward by an investigating agency, such as the Department of Defense or the FBI, which is then reviewed by an interagency committee

  • cmhickman358 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    12 days ago

    How much you want to bet that since the snitch was at work when they made the call they’re going to pull some bullshit like that means it was technically McDonalds that reported the crime so any reward money that does end up getting paid out goes to the company instead.

    • Murple_27@lemmy.ml
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      12 days ago

      If you are a minority pell grant recipient who starts a business in a disadvantaged community that stays open for 3+ years, you may be eligible to be nominated to receive the “Snitch of the Year” award from the Department of Defense.

      That’s a Felix bit.

  • btfod [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    12 days ago

    The McDonald’s worker said they saw Mangione around 9.15am ‘acting suspiciously’ in the restaurant, adding that he appeared to have fraudulent documents

    What’s this about? I’m trying to think of why it would ever be necessary to show an ID at McDonald’s… so we might have a real super sleuth of an employee on our hands here! Were they really out there eyeing every table just in case a patron decided to lay out their fake IDs and forged documents like they were about to start vlogging? What foresight and dedication! It would be such a tragedy for the bravest and goodest hero who saved the day not to get their due reward, instead to fade away into history like they were never there in the first place…

    • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      12 days ago

      Same comment from me:

      The search then grew over the weekend ,as the FBI backed the NYPD in the investigation, adding an additional $50,000 to the pot, and hundreds of tips poured in.

      The McDonald’s worker said they saw Mangione around 9.15am ‘acting suspiciously’ in the restaurant, adding that he appeared to have fraudulent documents.

      Mangione was then arrested with five charges at the scene, as officers found he was in possession of fake IDs, a ‘ghost’ gun, silencer, clothes, and a mask matching the one that the suspected shooter was captured wearing.

      I’m so tinfoil hat about it. Out of the hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands of tips this one worked? A Greyhound from New York to California is 3 days straight? 4 or 5 with rest? So in essence the man could have been anywhere in the continental US - hell, anywhere on the globe and especially those parts where it’s hard to come into contact with a police department that gives a fuck. But in that McDonald’s in particular a man was acting strange? And wasn’t just told to fuck off? And the employee wasn’t just like “get the fuck out of my store” they were like “that guy looks just like that guy with the smile!” Why the fuck would he splay out his fake IDs and tell people about it? How suspicious are you acting in McDonald’s that they would search your car? What’s that? You had the same clothes, mask, and gun on your person? That’s even weirder!! No car? Throw your shit away!! As a matter of fact, go through the drive through and eat in the parking lot. It seems like a generational throw coupled with generational luck.

      • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]@hexbear.netM
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        12 days ago

        There’s so much about this that’s weird. Why did he still have all his shit on him? Why was he still so close? Hell, why was he just chilling at the McDonald’s? Take that shit to go & eat somewhere else! .

        I’m split on whether this is a patsy or parallel construction. I think it’s more likely this is the guy & they just used some means they’d rather not share to find him, though I haven’t ruled out him just being a patsy (his comments about the money not being his). If he dies mysteriously in jail I’ll probably swing back to him being a patsy

      • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
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        11 days ago

        Mangione was then arrested with five charges at the scene, as officers found he was in possession of …clothes…

        Damn, they really will just nail you for anything these days…

      • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        12 days ago

        Be me

        McDonald’s Cashier

        Got Paper’s Please during the Steam Summer Sale™

        Finally got to play it

        Showupforwork.jpg.exe

        Feeling funny at work

        “Can I see your papers please?”

        Guy looks surprised but obliges

        WTF it worked???

        Look at the ID

        It says he’s 76 years old

        Look at the name

        Kill D. CEO

        Picture is the kid from Superbad

        Make a copy of it in the copy machine right by the fryer

        “Thank you sir, your food will be right out”

        Try to alert the police

        They show up before my 911 call connects

        Guys I think I just made $60,000!!

  • lmao, fucking hilarious.

    reminds me of a quote from a movie where a single team of two hitmen are sent to kill a witness and an attorney 4+ hours apart to protect a hundred billion dollar deep state corruption scheme. to their credit, they are pros and make the first hit look like an accident. but it makes the news and the second target is extremely twitchy, paranoid, and rabbits immediately. so when the hitmen show up at his place and realize he ditched all his electronics and split 4 hours ago, one of the guys says with frustration, “we told them this job would take 2 teams. it’s amazing where these guys try to cut costs.”