I dunno, I thought it would be higher. I guess I’m just a slut surrounded by sluts (positive).
What do you think about the number? Does it surprise you? Does it surprise you that it surprises me? Did you expect it to be lower maybe? If so why?
I just find this interesting. No judgement (unless you want that you dirty little gremlin)
Actually a statistical error, the average person has sex with 0 people. Suck’em Fuck’em Georg, who lives in a cave and fucks 10000 people a day is an outlier and should not have been counted
but then 10000 people a day have sex, so the average would be closer to .1 if they each only fuck em suck em Georg once in a lifetime if he lived to be 100
as a proud member of the volcel vanguard i do my best every day to lower this average
more serious
read some discussions further down the thread, it does suck how much having sex matters in this culture. If it werent for that, being a virgin wouldnt bother me in the slightest, since I’m (i think) somewhere on the ace/aro “spectrum” (is that the right word for it?). I do think it’s a shame that “incel” has come to replace “misogynist” in common lingo, because it feels to me in someway also a repackage of “virgin” as insult as well. I will say, the vocel meme is probably one of my favorite things on hexbear, because it helps make feel like less of an outcast, lolInteresting post, would’ve never considered how the terms here relate until you said it. Incels deserve the shit, and it’s interesting to consider that we partially identify the cause of their misogyny with their virginity. It’s probably true, but catches the volcel comrades with some Flak on the side.
Incel is still a good insult when it’s a misogynist who WANTS sex but can’t possibly have an intimate partner willingly have sex due to their misogyny. It pisses them off (sometimes) which is funny, and “misogynist” is often something they’re proud of. But next time I use it I’ll throw a "no shade to non-misogynyst and chill virgins*
As a gay man that number is comically low.
Yeah. The queer community (or at least those I’ve been part of) are part of why I am surprised at the number.
I think there’s definitely a lot of underreporting too.
Also, no one asked us either, right?
For the straights I can totally see it. Not even a diss. Just all the gays I’ve known have game. The bisexuals… that skews low on an almost comically ironic way.
Sitting here at 1 and I’m happy with that, i will not be changing this number as its enough for me. If my bf leaves me no one else would be able to fill in that gap anyway
Happy for you
Counting is dumb and pointless imo and nothing good can come of either keeping track or disclosing
In fact “I don’t want to know how many people you’ve been with” is a perfect response when some people feel compelled to volunteer this information
That sounds about right, although unless the survey respondents were all at death’s door the number will go up for some of them.
And don’t forget that a lot of communities around the world have a strong culture of monogomy and marrying young, bringing down the average.
At the risk of sounding old and lame, in my experience the ideal of having lots of sexual partners is a bit of a mirage in our culture. Nobody gets satisfied by a number and the best sex seems to happen in long-term relationships.
Think about the total number of times you had good sex, rather than the number of different people it was with.
Oh I don’t advocate that having sex with more people is inherently good. I like having new partners, discovering new people, but that’s me. Others like other stuff.
I am surprised at the number, but I guess not on a global scale. I think I exist in large part in a bit of a bubble when it comes to sex I guess.
There was “discourse” on Twitter recently about “body counts”, and an interesting conclusion people came to through it: if you were a moderately good looking person in a moderately cool city when tinder first hit the market, you body count tended to be WAY higher than most people.
I can confirm, I’m not even that good looking but I was living in Philly when tinder was first a thing and it was a total fuck fest.
Idk if it was a cultural shift or the app getting enshittified, likely both, but dating apps ain’t the same anymore.
What happened to Tindr?
In terms of how it got worse, in my opinion, the biggest issue is that more people started using it who weren’t looking for hook-ups.
There used to be a separation of apps for different purposes: OkCupid if you were younger and looking for a relationship, there was one for older people but I don’t remember the name because I wasn’t older at the time, and then there was Tinder for hooking up. And there were other apps, too, like PoF and others.
Now everyone uses Tinder for everything including finding friends, so that initial hookup aspect is gone. I don’t know how the kids break their volcel pledge these days but Tinder has enshittified so much by getting too popular and mainstream that it’s become the super-app. OkC has also significantly declined and with it the ability to more easily find more meaningful relationships online, in my opinion.
Also, they’re all owned by the same company now. No surprise.
What, no e-Harmony, no Christian Mingle? What about Farmers Only?
I think e-Harmony was the one for older people, right?
Thankfully never interacted with the other two. Are they still around?
No idea, but e-Harmony was a personality test one, then their special match maker software would match you with people who’d be your soul mate. If you’ve taken some psych classes beyond the 200 level you’d know it’s a bunch of self selecting bullshit.
Yeah I know a bunch of boomers including my mother who met people through e-harmony.
I don’t know how the kids break their volcel pledge these days
we don’t
Thank you for your cooperation, citizen.
Yeah I remember the influx of people with bios like “Just here for a friend!”
That’s cool, I’m at the busstop waiting for a train.
And then just all the enshittification and bots and weird gimmics. I find that hinge is a good time though
what is PoF’s niche?
I think, if I remember right, PoF was the first one among younger people that paved the way and then other, better, and more popular sites came about that drew all the grass-touching normies onto them and made online dating acceptable.
I guess PoF just got a bad rap for being weird because it was the first one that tried to do it when it was still considered socially unacceptable to say you met your partner online. It feels like they never got over that stigma after ironically helping make it acceptable.
I only used it briefly. I think it’s still around though.
I think it’s still around though.
yeah, it’s still around, and surprisingly accessible given what literally every other dating site/app has become.
nonetheless it has been slightly enshittified in terms of limiting people’s interactions with the site if they don’t pay. just not as badly as other sites.
So, FYI, there’s Hinge now, which is sorta becoming the “serious relationship for 25-40 year olds” app, and since it came out I think tinder is slowly reverting to a hookup app.
Interesting, good to know!
They’ve made the amount of likes limited unless you pay. I don’t use it myself since I’m married but i remember videos of people setting up diy swiping devices and just mass liking everyone.
Seems like math to me. If you can only like a few people a day you’re not going to get nearly enough matches to get sex consistently. Coupled with the fact that, presumably, the app still feeds you people who haven’t logged in forever makes sense to me
Not only that but they make it so any matches you do have are sorted to be close to your last like, to encourage you to get a subscription. Also other stuff. Tinder is also weird in that you sort of have to have “game theory” going - If you swipe on someone who doesn’t swipe on you, then you will get shown less times. So you should swipe on people you are certain you can match with. However the app also uses your swipes to figure out your preferences, so just going for “they seem like the type that would be into me” will end up with you not really having any assurance of being shown someone who might strike your fancy.
All the apps do algorithms, but tinders is especially terrible and the one where you really have way out of the “marketplace” mentality.
A bunch of people were really horny.
Peak Tinder was like sex hacking, honestly.
I got in right at the tail end. It was nice. Wish I had been more mentally stable though
why do some people call it “body count”?
are they killing them after or something? loldeleted by creator
1 so far. The fact that I literally can not log off on the politics stuff has dimmed my view of other people so much that I basically cannot relate to anyone in a way that would take a turn towards the intimate. Do I wish that weren’t the case? Yeah. Do I really know how to do anything about it? No.
Another reason why autism is hell
I am very uncomfortable with sex and have only had two sexual partners, but it seems like, on average, people like me are the most often designated as incels or we’re using it as an excuse. It’s also an internal battle too because I know it shouldn’t be all about me, but god do I wish I could find someone who feels the same way about it
Overall though, it’s very shameful. Thought I’d pick up on these nebulous social hierarchies the older I got, but they’re still beating my ass. That’s why the move is to remain as imperceptible as possible 😎
I don’t ever think of partners in a numerical way. When the time and situation is right, I guess my number goes up. I haven’t had too many and am happy sharing intimacy/my life in a selective way. I’m also monogamous which influences how often this happens with someone new.
Seems a little high but I’m a cishet volcel and all of my cishet friends have had between 1 and 3 LTRs and none are into hookups so
So if I’m in my 30’s and waaaay behind, is there hope I could catch up to the average or am I just gonna be behind forever? lol
well for one, there isn’t inherent value to number going up, it doesn’t determine your worth, but secondly yeah I mean I’d say chances are probably pretty high of it goin up, especially if you are looking!
for me the low number is from a compete lack of opportunity and a symptom of horrible social problems.
having the option would require my life to have vastly improved, which is what i want and have no delusions or expectations of happening,
yeah, same here @ everything you said.
a symptom of horrible social problems.
For me, it’s living at home + no job + no car. Also being really shy due to trauma, and living in a lame place. idk about you.
This thread actually sucks, because the only outcome is it makes people feel like they are not “meeting expectations”. I am way below this number but not worried about it in the slightest. The number itself is meaningless. “Catching up” seems like it’s an expectation or obligation, when really everyone does relationships differently. Please don’t feel like you need to reach this number, or even try. But if you do want a sexual partner, that’s totally fine too! Just don’t feel like you are a failure for not having more partners.
I’d say chances are probably pretty high of it goin up, especially if you are looking!
well I’ve been looking my whole adult life, and still no dice. At this point I have to conclude I’m too broken for anyone to be interested in me, even if only for a FWB or fling or whatever.
Absolutely. I think the takeaway here should be that 9 partners isn’t really a big deal. Like, if you star t having sex between 15-20 and settle down around 25-30 it’s just 1-2 people a year. It dosn’t take much to get there if you’re mentally well, somewhat socially adjusted. And if you’re not comfortable in yourself yet but become that later in life, it’s a high probability that you’ll “catch up” too.
There’s a bunch of cultural and generational aspects of this too of course, but assuming you live in “the west” and go to social gatherings and you’re not a nazi, sex-pest or expecting “porn sex” it shouldn’t be a problem. Remember that the bar is incredibly low at this point, at least for men. Like, if you’re in your 30s, brush your own teeth, wash your ass with soap, you’re basically above average.
but assuming you live in “the west” and go to social gatherings and you’re not a nazi, sex-pest or expecting “porn sex” it shouldn’t be a problem. Remember that the bar is incredibly low at this point, at least for men. Like, if you’re in your 30s, brush your own teeth, wash your ass with soap, you’re basically above average.
Well, I do all those good things and don’t do any of those bad things. Only thing I’m missing is “go to social gatherings” 'cause there’s nowhere for me to go. lol
you’re not a nazi, sex-pest or expecting “porn sex” it shouldn’t be a problem. Remember that the bar is incredibly low at this point, at least for men. Like, if you’re in your 30s, brush your own teeth, wash your ass with soap, you’re basically above average.
Stop repeating this shit. “Bad people are fucking. If you aren’t, it must be because you’re worse than the bad people,” is just virgin shaming.
Bigger number doesn’t equal better number. But in my experience I received more interest from people when I weren’t looking to hook up, probably because it allowed me to interact with them in a personable non horny way.
I’ve had some good times using hinge too, but I live in a big city with good public transport, so my life is probably different from yours.
I know lots of old people who just started to hit their “hoe phase” and I know swinger clubs aren’t really for the young and pretty most of the time.I know lots of old people who just started to hit their “hoe phase” and I know swinger clubs aren’t really for the young and pretty most of the time.
how old are you talkin’ here?
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perhaps I am just a slut, but I lost count a LONG time ago lmao
I think most people know though, that the most enjoyable sex is almost always with a loving long term partner who you are intune with the wants and needs of, as opposed to somebody who you dont have that kind of non verbal link with yet and a deeper understanding of what works for both of you
- honeytrap you can’t make me squeal ya narc
I expected it to be lower, probably personal bias though. 9 seems like a really high number of partners to me, and half of people (ish I know median vs average) have more then that? Surprising.
