Worked a lot as a child and barely played. Missed out on lots of personality development. I have more free time now and I want to play, but I don’t totally understand how.
I was told when I have something fun to do, learn to fail the marshmallow test and just immediately eat the marshmallow. I feel paralyzed. I’m used to playing only if I’m invited by someone else to play, and I want to play more when I’m alone.
So far I sometimes draw and read a fun book. Both usually make me anxious, but they bring me feelings of accomplishment.
You might benefit from trying D&D. Play online with anonymity if you want, and the game itself has a bit of structure to it so you can start with that and kind of ease into the more freeform aspects as you get comfortable with them.
I’ve played like 3 rounds of Warhammer in person and the rules were confusing. If D&D online makes more sense I’m down to try.
I will always stand by music. It’s fun to do alone, not that hard to move to have fun together. If you can get your hands on a cheap instrument give learning it a go.
What are some easy instruments that teach you rhythm? I unfortunately have no rhythm.
If you want to learn rhythm you could always pick up some drumsticks and a practice pad and practice some basic rudiments and techniques. Bass Guitar is also pretty nice for this, I found it pretty easy to at least pick up and play, but it challenges my rhythm abilities a lot. I think they best strategy for any instrument is to learn to count rhythm, and play with a metronome as much as possible
Oddly enough and ironically, structure and restrictions can open things to creativity. It’s kind of like distilling a project to just the creative portion.
Personally I used to do a lot of writing, worldbuilding, and language construction when I was younger before I burned out in school. I wanted to get back to that but couldn’t come up with any ideas like I used to. But then I decided to lay down some rules. D&D was mentioned, which is a great example for this: you get a highly developed setting and specific scenarios, but it’s up to you to find the solution to the problem.
It’s not exactly play as you asked. But maybe you could consider play as part of what I’m talking about. The first part, when you’re entertaining all sorts of ideas, before picking a solution, feels like play to me. Although I like the next part more, when everything and everyone clicks on a solution. It feels like a bonding experience ig
Oddly enough and ironically, structure and restrictions can open things to creativity. It’s kind of like distilling a project to just the creative portion.
Makes sense. They give you a creative form to fill out. With whatever you want.
Does D&D give easy forms to fill? I wasn’t allowed to read much either, so my imagination is stunted when it comes to storytime.
Yes definitely, in D&D as a player you get all the details about what and where, and you only have to fill in the how. For example, the character sheet is basically a template with slots and points that you can find precalculated examples for. The only thing you fill in is your backstory, and take actions during the story.
The DM is also usually helpful to suggest hints or ask leading questions in case you still are stumped during roleplay.
I also had a very repressed childhood. The only escape I had was reading. I’m very sorry to hear you had to do without such.
Do you have any desire to read fantastic stories? Tabletop roleplaying games are joined with such at the hip.
In many ways D&D is a chance for people to come together and create a fantasy story they write together. All you have to do is create a character you want to pretend to be and play that character in a setting you and people you choose to spend time with create together.
It can be mechanically focused, or less so. Ultimately it’s a structure system everyone navigates together in order to allow the collective imagination to create a series of imagined events together. Some groups like the crunch more, others the fluff more.
Fantasy books are a fun way to put the toes into the water in regards to reading. The stakes are low, the book exists to facilitate your imagination. If you aren’t having fun the author just isn’t a match. That’s nobodies fault and just a reflection of differing tastes.
If you decide you like the idea of pursuing DND, perhaps give the hobbit a peruse? It’s many peoples introduction and to fantasy, and in many ways is the cornerstone of how the public consciousness understands fantasy as a genre.
I’m reading the Cirque de Freak child horror story series. Idk if that counts a fantastical.
In the that case I’m unable to come up with my own story, my backup plan is to take characters, character traits, and stories from other media like games, books, and movies. So even if I can’t come up with my own shit I can still play.
I am uninitiated to that series, are you liking it? It sounds as if you are seeing as it is already providing inspiration.
How do you feel about video games?
I just began playing Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs. I stopped when I began being in danger of being pursued. It’s my first horror game. I love watching people play horror games, and hate playing them. I’m too scared of the first Amnesia game and Resident Evil games to play them.
I could use happy pretty games. And ones with easy enemies. I hate fighting enemies, but after playing the Gator Game, I’ve learned it gets boring quick. So good fighting games to learn to stand my ground would help.
Also, what would help me do tasks while sneaking around those enemies in the Amnesia game I’m playing?
Subnautica is one of my all time favorite games. Still a little scary at times, but not a horror game. The intensity comes from going deep underwater. It’s a beautiful game, and is focused on crafting and exploration. There are enemies to avoid, but not really any combat. You can play it at your own pace and approach it however you like, but there is an overarching narrative and goal to give it structure.
Another one I’d recommend is Stardew Valley. Beautiful game, very bright and happy. There’s a combat minigame, but it’s not completely central to the game. Mostly just growing a little farm and interacting with the townsfolk. Extremely chill.
I’d also give Minecraft a try. You can play with monsters on or off, or just build things in creative mode. It’s more of a pure sandbox, with only a loose end goal and a lot of content to play with. If you’re looking to play around, in the more fundamental sense, then Minecraft and similar open world crafting games might be a good fit.
For something much more structured: Portal. Absolute classic. No combat, just trying to solve a series of puzzles.
I’d also take a look at Baldur’s Gate 3. It’s extremely well-made, can be played any number of ways, difficulty can be turned up or down depending on how much you want to get good at combat. So many creative ways to solve any given situation. Can be a little dark, but it’s mostly about high fantasy adventure.
It ultimately depends on what kind of games you end up enjoying, but all of the above are worth taking a look at. If something looks cool, give it a try. If you use Steam, there’s a two-hour refund policy, so you can always try a game for an hour or two and get a refund if it doesn’t work for you. I think all but Minecraft are on Steam.
If you are up to downloading an emulator (trust me, many guides exist and even a dumb dumb like myself figured it out) is easy and let’s you play many ps2 games.
I say this because Katamari Damacy is a ps2 game that’s very much a colorful pretty calm game with a simple yet addictive gameplay loop.
There are themes and stuff to dive into, but the the core of it very calming and interesting to look at it (also the music is good vibes).
Video games maybe?
I asked this same question of a friend recently and they recommended a book to me. I wish I could pass along some summary of its advice but I’m only a few pages in myself yet, but I can give you the title and author: Play by MD Stuart Brown
Were there things you missed out on as a child but wanted to do? Could start with those.
Larping larping larping larping larping.
Plus basketball and soccer.
Solo boardgames can be fun if you’re looking for something gamey but analog.
Make something with leftover food and napkins and forks and stuff at the end of every meal
I’ve gone through similar experiences, and at least for me its been a mix of learning how to turn off my internal inhibitions towards positive spontaneous actions my unconscious self wants to do. This could be things like wriggling or dancing while listening to music I feel while alone. Going off on random nature walks and indulging my thirst to explore randomly. Roll around in the grass because I can. Hit blocks of ice with a hammer because why not. Swagger around like you’re in a cowboy movie and try to win a quick-draw against yourself in the mirror. Dip dried squid in chunky peanut butter because you wonder if the two flavors will mix or not. And so on and so forth.
Of course I’ve gone through almost a decade of trying to improve my mindset from being a nihilistic doomer that couldn’t enjoy anything except atrocious shock jockey edgy “humor” to someone that gets blown away by the beauty of the rising sun on a daily bases and giggles like a child having a fit at terrible dad jokes like “don’t forget to eat your vegetables, peas!” Or talking about China’s monorail transit systems and saying “I bet this subject would make a great One-liner!” It also helps that my material conditions have changed to a more positive environment and I’m around generally more fun and positive people I can learn from and joke with.
Just remember you can’t learn it over night, but with steady commitment of trying a bit at a time will help you develop yourself as a person in the direction you may desire.
Happy to hear about your success in brightness. All your spontaneity ideas sound nice. I do half of the first paragraph so I consider that a head start to doing all that. I really like those dad jokes. I’ve been having trouble making friends, but I have one who does jokes like that all day, and it’s really helpful for my uprightness.
I gotta take a hammer to a block of ice sometime.
I’ll be honest, it’s mainly work friends that I see every day. And I know that’s hit or miss gor everyone, situational and all that. Also the block of ice is on my roof so for me its a “do it or risk your roof caving in” deal, but I make it more interesting by indulging in my whims of seeing what random stuff in my place helps break ice. Like I’ve gotten a smaller rail spike I found years back and used it as a “chisel” that I beat I to the ice to break chunks off like I’m making an ice sculpture, or taking an old machete I got and and slashing at some ice like a martial artist, among other dumb shit I’ve used to break ice.
But anyways, I believe in you in that you’ll get to where you’re aiming for, so don’t beat yourself up too much!
What do you mean by play? Do you mean entertainment (curated games, video games), unstructured play (make believe), physical activity (chasey)?
May help us give suggestions on what to recommend.
That aside, you may enjoy Lego. Just grabbing a box of bricks and making whatever comes to mind or letting the shapes build themselves. Creating stories and mental relations between what you build. Structuring them in a scene, or using them to run through an imaginary scenario?
It leads towards other activities like crafts, role playing etc. that you may enjoy.
Do you mean entertainment (curated games, video games), unstructured play (make believe), physical activity (chasey)?
All of them. I’ve had trouble making friends though so I’ll have to do a lot of stuff alone. Or have the courage to go out and ask if strangers can teach me how to do things. (I’m unsure if I have that courage for now.)
