this is an experiment i have done for the last week or something. no upbear counters, no upbear buttons, just sorted by new or new comments. it has been very nice, but i know that inevitably somebody is gonna feel like i’m being snooty to them for not upbearing them. its very nice that people are taking time out of their day to engage with me on the net, and i always feel that when i get the notifications, but i think some of them are gonna take it personally if i keep this crap up
the question: how important is this little courtesy to you??? does it bother you if you dont get upvotes when you are talking to people?
thank you for your replies but know that for responding to this survey i cannot offer any remuneration. you are encouraged to not upbear this post or even report it if you see any flagrant rulebreaks
just for context i have done this experiment to see if it feels better and if i feel less obsessive about innernet points/see if i make better comments without the motivation (turns out this one is a no)
I like to upbear every comment I see because I just appreciate everyone who posts here, unless what they are saying is some bullshit or overly rude
Yeah, unless the reply is attacking me personally or they’re just being douchey, I’ll upvote anything. And i’ll do it again
deleted by creator
no more half measures walter
i have assumed there are a lot of people doing that because otherwise nothing makes sense
i find it very sweet
I upbear to show I’m here lurking even when I don’t comment
deleted by creator
I usually upvote anything that contributes to a conversation.
don’t you find it physically tiring tho?
Nah, I rarely find one.
If I get no upbear I self crit and think about how I can be funnier
deleted by creator
that people will be funnier?
deleted by creator
I always upvote everyone I respond to and everyone who responds to me, even if I’m in an argument. To me it’s just common courtesy. I get offended if I’m arguing with someone and they don’t upvote me - it’s what turns the argument from a friendly exchange of opinions to one of aggression. I usually remove my upvotes from their comments at that time.
And of course I don’t upvote wreckers when responding to them.
edit: if I’m in an argument and I’m trying to be aggressive, that’s when I’ll actually not upvote a post I’m responding to - but I’m usually not trying to be aggressive, especially not on this site
deleted by creator
the way I see it - “upvotes,” “likes” etc are just a digital form of the verbal validation someone would get irl. Like if you told a joke, people would laugh, smile. If you made a good point, people would nod, say “uh huh” or something. A thread would look pretty weird if someone wrote something funny and there were like 30 people underneath going “lol” and “haha” so that validation is replaced with likes and upvotes.
People absolutely get too caught up with how many internet points they get, but idk I don’t see that obsession as fundamentally different from being obsessed with social acceptance in general. We all have a desire to fit in and idk, I think it has the same root causes as someone who gets too caught up with trying to be funny irl or something. It’s something we all have to work on, whether online or irl.
GOOD post. Sums up what I was thinking too. Since in this medium we don’t have the kind of emotional ques we would normally get as a response in group conversations, upvotes serve that purpose. It is unfortunate that upvotes are so… quantifiable in a way that nods and grunts of approval are not, which really exacerbates any problematic obsession someone might have with getting positive responses. But that does not mean we should scrap the whole method we have for providing that kind of light social approval that is necessary to some extent to have real communal (as opposed to one on one) discussions.
I also think that what you said touches on something that seems to often get forgotten in discussions about the validity of upvotes: They’re not just fir the person receiving them. Upvoting someone gives me a sense that I am participating even if I don’t want to say anything. I very often feel like I have nothing really worth adding since much smarter people here say it better than I could, but upvoting others I agree with gives me, as a shy lurker, a way to feel like I’m genuinely part of the community too. People talk about the dopamine hit they get when they see they got upvoted. Well I get a dopamine hit by upvoting others and knowing they got a dopamine hit because of my doing so.
I get a dopamine hit by upvoting others and knowing they got a dopamine hit because of my doing so.
compersion
A thread would look pretty weird if someone wrote something funny and there were like 30 people underneath going “lol” and “haha” so that validation is replaced with likes and upvotes.
:porque-no-los-dos:
Upvote and comment lol or emoji
idk I think things would get cluttered if everyone was commenting an emoji under every single post they enjoyed.
Ik, I’m mostly joking but fwiw I have noticed here that people do tend to leave reaction emojis under threads more frequently than elsewhere on the lemmyverse and * spits * r*ddit thank goodness. I kinda like it
deleted by creator
Oh really? I only ever browse two or three subreddits and rarely see reaction images. Maybe it’s common elsewhere on the site
deleted by creator
like “agree twinkles” which anyone who was tortured by a certain era of consensus meetings will remember. here is a great infographic i found.
it doesn’t really come across but when agreeing you don’t just put your hands up but you are also waggling your fingers around.
it feels silly but really does speed things up to be able to show support without getting on the speakers list.
We live in a SOCIETY
deleted by creator
You know, there is no such thing as “society.” There are individual comments, and there are posts.
i know that inevitably somebody is gonna feel like i’m being snooty to them for not upbearing them
how can someone even know that?
and what is people’s expectations? that every single friend of their upvote every single little thing they do on the internet? is this whole website so insecure?
are people somehow tracking each individual other user’s responses, tallying this, and judging the other users by it?
doesn’t everyone else know that sometimes they will say things that other people are indifferent to, or that they even disagree with? even those people you generally like? isn’t that a known fact of social interactions?
I think if you don’t want to upvote, you shouldn’t. You do you.
Personally I like the voting system. It serves as an approximation of the collective opinion. On niche forums especially, I think the collective opinion is worthy of respect even when I disagree.
how important is this little courtesy to you??? does it bother you if you dont get upvotes when you are talking to people?
well tbh I don’t think it’s a courtesy, I think it is a gauge of the collective opinions. Sometimes if I make a comment or post I think will be contentious I look later to see “how it did”. Not cause I want to know how kindly the readers were feeling, but to know if I understand the opinions of the forum correctly.
One thing I have learned, from various different forums, subreddits, and lemmies, is that loooong rambling comments like this one consistently “do” very badly because they are too boring to read. But yet I make them anyway.
deleted by creator
I upbear, I sort by new, I never look at notifications but I’ll often check back on threads in the same day
deleted by creator
its a similar amount of let-down to when I throw somthing in a trash can from 10 feet and miss and have to go pick it up
but for real, at least when it comes to my own posts I upvote every comment so I know which ones I’ve read already
I upbeanis most posts I read and any comment that I engage with, or that replies to one of my comments or posts. I like to know that at least someone is reading what I’m writing over here. If I write a comment or post and it stays at 1 upbeanis, what’s the point? Is anyone even reading it?
Unironically its gonna hurt the site because now upvoting is gonna be used as a personal endorsement by anybody you’re arguing with so people will upvote less stuff and continue the declining engagement on the site.
Why should engagement be the goal? As long as people who wanna interact can interact with other folks on here it shouldn’t be a problem. Social media shouldn’t be designed to maximize engagement, that’s how it becomes addictive.
Because people want to interact less if they think it’s gonna lead to people using their previous votes like a comment history.
deleted by creator
I’ll never be apologetic in wanting to get rid of upvotes.
deleted by creator
I don’t like upvotes at all. When I last discussed it I got replies saying ‘oh your instance allows you to hide upvotes’ but 1) that’s not my point and 2) it doesn’t work (you can hover over the post to see the counts). Yes i welcome removing downvotes is critical in creating this sites culture but
I invite the mods to go further and consider the postive, pro-social benefits of removing votes entirelyI used to post ‘good post.’ under posts that I liked a lot.
I took the sage advice of kristina who said if you have nothing else to say just say lmao
literally the most smoke’n’mirrors phrase of all time.
Did other people also do this? I feel like that was or is a common thing on here
uhh maybe you get validation in other areas of your life but not all of us are so lucky
deleted by creator
I’m on board with this. If we could have banner length custom images in the sig too that’d be sick
Death to America
Signature images really were the
of the 00s, early 10s internetI’m surprised there an emote for that, but yea! I think what’s neat is the creativity that went into some of those.
deleted by creator
This is the place I’m going to admit my weird habit:
Assuming everyone seems to be talking in good faith, I find it sad when a reply has more upbears than the original comment. It feels sad to me that someone has such a ringing lack of endorsement, where everyone has to have read their comment, and someone elses, and vote the elses. So I’ll like, selectively upbear or un-upbear certain comments to make things more equal. This even includes my own comments, I remove the default self-upbear sometimes.
kbin seems to have died, but it was controversial because it didn’t have the feature of the user automatic upvoting every post/comment the way lemmy does. the user was however permitted to manually upvote own posts and comments. but also on kbin all votes were public so everyone could see they had done it and there was something of a norm forming around that being a bit embarrassing.
except for the part about all votes being public, I kind of liked it. You can upvote yourself but you shouldn’t; so funny.
it was hypothesized that because of the lack of initial default upvote, kbin users would be at a systematic loss. which I also liked and thought was funny.
but kbin is dead now so I guess it didn’t work out.
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
i mean to upbear anything i like, find funny, agree with, etc. i often forget, ADHD and all
i do always upbear if i reply/respond to a comment, engage with a post, or anyone that replies to me unless they are a lib or chud
wish we had little stickers or simplified one-click response emojis or something instead. something less reddit-brained. maybe a little “x usename liked this!”
deleted by creator
