• LGOrcStreetSamurai [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 months ago

    I don’t understand why people try to frame compliments in such a weird ass way. Just say “I like your hair, it’s pretty 😁” that’s it. BOOM! You have done it. You gave a normal regular compliment and probably made the other person feel good about how they look.

    It’s so weird people put needless (and most likely rude) qualifiers. Second option, just quietly appreciate the nuanced and unique beauty of another person, you don’t need to say shit. You can just shut the fuck up. That’s allowed.

    • spacecadet [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      5 months ago

      It may not be conscious on the part of the white woman in this example, but this type of compliment is doubling as a way for her to give herself a healthy lib pat on the back compliment for being an ally or whatever

      • LGOrcStreetSamurai [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        5 months ago

        God those people are the WORST! It’s using an opportunity to be nice and decent to another person but you find a way to actually make it about yourself (the rhetorical yourself, not you you the commenter). I hate that shit, cause decency is sadly rare these days, and finding a way to present it to someone and then take it away is just vile and scummy.

    • da_gay_pussy_eatah [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      5 months ago

      Counterpoint to option 2: complimenting people is actually cool and good, so long as you’re normal. Caveat: if you’re cis-het-male presenting, maybe it won’t be as well received. But above all, just be normal.

      • booty [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        5 months ago

        im a normal dude who gives compliments all the time. it literally is just as simple as be normal, in my experience. ive said “I love your hair!” to black women verbatim before (and also other women but just considering the context here), and they were like “thanks!” and we moved on with our lives.

  • Tankiedesantski [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 months ago

    One of my friends who is a person of Indian heritage born in the West told me about how his KKKraker job interviewer once said “you speak great English” and without missing a beat he replied “thanks, so do you.”

    He got the job.

    • axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      5 months ago

      It’s common for black women to wear wigs to have long, straight hair even if their natural hair is very curly and poofy, like an afro. This is the result of western beauty standards imposing themselves on people who aren’t white.

      The black woman is complimented by a white woman for daring to defy western beauty standards to wear her natural hair. The black woman then responds that it must take confidence for the white woman to wear her natural hair as well. Basically saying, “I’m not wearing a wig, but you should be.” It’s a good clap back.