• LGOrcStreetSamurai [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 months ago

    I don’t understand why people try to frame compliments in such a weird ass way. Just say “I like your hair, it’s pretty 😁” that’s it. BOOM! You have done it. You gave a normal regular compliment and probably made the other person feel good about how they look.

    It’s so weird people put needless (and most likely rude) qualifiers. Second option, just quietly appreciate the nuanced and unique beauty of another person, you don’t need to say shit. You can just shut the fuck up. That’s allowed.

    • spacecadet [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      5 months ago

      It may not be conscious on the part of the white woman in this example, but this type of compliment is doubling as a way for her to give herself a healthy lib pat on the back compliment for being an ally or whatever

      • LGOrcStreetSamurai [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        5 months ago

        God those people are the WORST! It’s using an opportunity to be nice and decent to another person but you find a way to actually make it about yourself (the rhetorical yourself, not you you the commenter). I hate that shit, cause decency is sadly rare these days, and finding a way to present it to someone and then take it away is just vile and scummy.

    • da_gay_pussy_eatah [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      5 months ago

      Counterpoint to option 2: complimenting people is actually cool and good, so long as you’re normal. Caveat: if you’re cis-het-male presenting, maybe it won’t be as well received. But above all, just be normal.

      • booty [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        5 months ago

        im a normal dude who gives compliments all the time. it literally is just as simple as be normal, in my experience. ive said “I love your hair!” to black women verbatim before (and also other women but just considering the context here), and they were like “thanks!” and we moved on with our lives.