dunk tank because we’re dunking on this lady’s baby daddy

  • daisy@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Ever have one of those “How the fuck am I still single, when this is my competition?!” moments?

    • TupamarosShakur [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Literally every time I read something like this

      But then I remember I barely leave my house due to Covid, don’t really like meeting people or going out anyway, and the last relationship I was in we broke up because she held extremely bourgeois values and was an anticommunist. So sometimes the women are just as reactionary as the men, and also I do myself no favors being a crank shut in. So it actually makes complete sense why I’m single.

    • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Almost every goddamn day of my life, but I know the answer is that I don’t put myself out there or make an effort to meet new people/potential love interests. I think I would make a good partner for someone, it’s just a matter of actually seeking people out. Just sucks that guys are expected to make the first move most of the time and I’m terrible at gauging someone’s interest in me.

    • Poogona [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Just waiting for that special lady who will see me in my stained hoodie (it has a hole and stretched out sleeve cuffs) and walk all the way to the edge of the room to greet me. She will have just come away from arguing with her slightly-less-politically coherent friends and will see that I am reading a book.

      “I’m sorry, is that Grapes of Wrath?” she will ask me.

      I will say that yes, it is, but I’m only reading it as a change of pace from my usual material. When she asks me what my usual is, I will lean in, and say softly, “animal facts.”

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      The chuds in my biological family (almost a “OOPS, ALL CHUDS!” meme) outright resented my wife because I didn’t order her around like a robot. Even the female chuds were mad that their own sunk-cost fallacy of putting up with misogynistic chud husbands for decades of their miserable lives didn’t get passed down toward her.

    • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 year ago

      my mom says that about my bf. claims hes too much of a catch and i dont do enough for him. of course some of this sentiment is transphobia, i do a lot with him

      nah he just loves me the way i am mom cat-vibing

    • mathemachristian [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Some older women one if them a midwife where really surprised about me saying that I really miss my kid and wish I was back home since I started going back to uni. Like “wow modern men really are something huh? Good for you!”. Made me real sad for them because they have kids if their own.

      Felt really weird to get lauded because I care about my own kid.

    • PapaEmeritusIII [any]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I have the opposite experience - the older women in my family love and dote on my partner because of how sweet he is! It’s adorable. Also a little sad because I know a lot of them weren’t treated well by their (late or ex, fortunately) husbands.

    • 小莱卡@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 year ago

      Lol my family is so conservative that they complain that someones husband can cook and do house work 😂 it is an horror in their eyes

    • autismdragon [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I know a guy who literally doesn’t masturbate because it “ruins sex” but also is way into porn and watches it frequently. I don’t get it either. I utilize porn as a tool but I can’t imagine just watching it for watching’s sake.

      • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        I know a guy who literally doesn’t masturbate because it “ruins sex” but also is way into porn and watches it frequently.

        I knew someone very similar to that back in college. He claimed that the porn “motivated him” and not masturbating let him “channel his energy.”

        Ultimately he was just an aggressive misogynistic asshole who eventually found up-yours-woke-moralists

      • Hadriscus@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        you don’t watch porn for the plot ? you might learn a thing or two about mise en scène

    • Barabas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Only guy I know that does this is also friends with porn directors and does communal porn watch parties (and other sex party stuff). So probably not the average example.

      But I can think of few things less arousing than watching porn in a group.

      Edit: I tell a lie, I also had a colleague of mine show a titty model gif and saying ‘look at this cool thing’. He is also 20 years my senior. Just kind of confused by that more than anything, how the fuck are you supposed to react?

      • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        But I can think of few things less arousing than watching porn in a group.

        Imagining a bunch of hipster auteur types sipping wine and rubbing their chins, furiously writing in their little notebooks, while some Brazzers is playing in front of them all like: “ah yes the artistic choice of spreading the cumshot all across her back with a vibrator is a real insight into the perils of digital nomadism in the age of late capitalism”

        I also had a colleague of mine show a titty model gif and saying ‘look at this cool thing’. He is also 20 years my senior. Just kind of confused by that more than anything, how the fuck are you supposed to react?

        “Impressive, very nice, now lets see Paul Allen’s titty model gif” bateman-ontological

        • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          Imagining a bunch of hipster auteur types sipping wine and rubbing their chins, furiously writing in their little notebooks, while some Brazzers is playing in front of them all like: “ah yes the artistic choice of spreading the cumshot all across her back with a vibrator is a real insight into the perils of digital nomadism in the age of late capitalism”

          The vibrator is fucking blue kelly

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Run long enough on the hedonic treadmill and that can be like background noise. Bad place to be, especially if someone wants to actually be interested and intimate with an actual romantic partner later.

  • Outdoor_Catgirl [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    This can’t be real. The bit about “everyone acting like it’s totally normal” for something that’s clearly not, and just the absurdity of the situation makes me believe it’s fake. People can’t be that shitty, can they? But in the 1% chance it’s true, wtf

    • BynarsAreOk [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      On one hand we could just hang the techbro CEOs/execs and burn down their shitty social media servers then maybe the “internet” would go back to being more than the same 3 shit websites?

      On the other hand I don’t know if there is a cure for someone that spent 10 years on reddit.

      • Shinji_Ikari [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Its really odd to immediately relate “watching porn at your childs birth” to be an ADHD symptom, in the context of this comment, rather than “the circus box in your pocket is causing peoples brains to melt from the constant circus intake”.

        ADHD is basically only a disability in the context of a hyper-atomized society where everyone is responsible for their own tiny kingdom. Its anachronistic to modern “sit down in your box” lifestyles, and probably far more useful in survival or communal scenarios.

        In this theoretical world where phones are outlawed and millions are in rehabilitation camps, I’m going to assume there’s a lot of other shit being done, a lot of communal actions and new responsibilities I’d bet, probably plenty of room for our easily distracted asses to use our pattern matching and reward mechanisms to help the community, while other community members tell us to wash our stinky asses because we’re too occupied with sorting produce to notice.

          • Shinji_Ikari [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            Even without the greater context of the post, its so tiring to hear people with ADHD spoken about like they’re some kind of hedonism bot without greater executive control. I live a daily life where I constantly forget what I’m doing, deal with the shame of not being able to focus on tasks like my peers, and overall start at the back of the pack in any metaphorical race and need to play catch up.

            Our current society is optimized in a way that exacerbates ADHD symptoms sure, but making an exaggerated joke about undoing this societal damage isn’t some “hexbear hates people with adhd” take.

            There’s some deeply embedded infantilization that occurs in discussions about people with neurodiverse disorders that effect executive function. It’s one thing to have an explanation and identify why things take place. Its something else to take a leap and hard-associate the overuse/abuse of the most widespread device in human history with ADHD as if its some kind of cultural right to melt your neurons into a slurry with a constant flow of the garbage that is pushed on social media and beyond.

              • Shinji_Ikari [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                1 year ago

                And, at any point, did you ever consider that my response could have been exaggerated as well?

                No I did not an I’m sorry for that.

                Was the original comment you responded to edited? I notice you keep using “reeducation” when the comment said “rehabilitation”, which might be cause for why we’re arguing.

                Cease

                Respected, have a good day, sorry to be annoying and fighting for a debate.

      • the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        I’m sorry the phones are such a liability for everyone else. ☹️ My smartphone is a huge help in dealing with my ADHD. My to-do list and reminders and calendars are the only things keeping my life from completely falling apart.

  • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Entertainment has no effect on people which is why some can’t voluntarily stop fucking consuming it for the sake of anyone else. If it wasn’t porn it would be paddle balls or flipping a coin with equal intensity and fixation, because material conditions. smuglord

  • marxisthayaca [he/him,they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    My wife and I have had two children for both children, I had a bugout bag set up which included a book. Delivery takes hours, it’s often quick near the end, but we had to wait through contractions and dilation. It is not normal to watch porn in situations like this - one can argue that pornography, outside of kink shows, or art exhibitions is meant for private consumption.

    My jaw is on the floor. Holy shit.

  • Fake as hell, but as a AMAB person I can confirm that the bar is low. I get compliments fairly often by doing what seem to me like normal spouse/parent stuff. These compliments are always from women, which offers a depressing insight into what they’ve been conditioned to accept

  • TreadOnMe [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    You’d think so, but if you are a single older guy, ‘Being nice to people.’ is seen as ‘Being desperate for attention or interaction’, at least until you hang out enough for people to realize ‘oh no, he’s fine with being ignored he’s just a nice guy.’ Which is wild to me because I see being an obnoxious asshole as being desperate for attention.

    Social situations are completely fucked these days, especially with dating because of the toxic shit that both men and women are taught by ‘dating gurus’ on the internet. What happens is that people ask their friends advice on stuff, but their friends who are into these types of relationship dramas are getting their advice from people who are pushed on the algorithm, who are almost all people who are complete drama freaks. The amount of normalization (and romanticization) of whacky creepy behavior is wild.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      The amount of normalization (and romanticization) of whacky creepy behavior is wild.

      TikTok is a nightmare world of glorifying precious smol bean quirky abusers.