cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/21517567
Summary
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.
What is going on? Why are demons attacking in my sleep and why are they making me gay? The Democratic party is sending gay demons to snuggle with you and satitate your scratching kink
Honestly would not be surprised if a gay sex tape is about to drop and this is how he tries to pretend it’s not that
intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible
yep three very similar things
It’s like being bit by a liberal and getting an overwhelming urge to read Harry Potter.
“Oh god I wanna get brunch with bottomless mimosas and then VOETTTTTTTTTTT”
I wanna get brunch with bottomless mimosas and then VOETTTTTTTTTTT"
You’re doing your part for Dumbledore’s Army!
He’s not dead if he lives in our icy little hearts!
Normal people call this a cat
yeah this happened to me too, but at least i busted
I hope it was worth your stay in Horny Jail.
He should post nudes. We need to see the claw marks.
Only Klans
What is going on? There’s naked pictures of me… all over the internet? Like what you see? Hope you do. Because there’s plenty more where that came from.
Definitely wasn’t an animal. Demon is the most reasonable explanation.
Definitely wasn’t rough play in an affair that left scratches that were clearly from human nails.
This is 100% he got caught cheating after some kinky shit and covered for it by “OMG I WAS ATTACKED BY A REAL ACTUAL DEMON!”
It was Kissinger trying to possess a body of the living to escape his eternal torment.I, too, have a pet cat
Next time I won’t miss
Demon’s aren’t like they used to be, folks. Sadly, you can no longer rely on demon’s to finish the fucking job.
Should be cw for Self harm
can’t even sleep anymore, because of woke
Tucker being unusually self-aware about self-harming in his sleep
Critical support.
