You have 10 minutes before the cops arrive. If you break 50k they have to let you go, no questions asked.
What’s your plan?
50k is easy. Run across the field behind my house to the hospital parking lot and dent the bodywork on like two Rivians.
Or most any fiberglass/plastic trim panels on a Mercedes, BMW, or higher-end Audi. Hell, a wooden oar could make short work of the body panels on a Corvette.
If I find the executives’ cars I could do 100k in a single swing ez
My current position is nearby a museum so I think I got this
Before heading to the museum, call up all the peoples who have had artifacts from their history stolen, so once you start smashing display cases, they can take everything back to the places they belong.
Better idea: call the wooden paddle the “Judgement of Solomon” and start compromising
you running to the pottery section?
It’s a technology museum so I’m going straight for the exposed tubing in their rocket graveyard
man what a sound that’d make
kerbalexplosion.mp3
Just start smashing windshields, that’s like 50 windshields
The headlight housings cost a lot more than the windshields. On newer cars with LED or projectors they can be in the thousands.
That’s my plan, but I’m in a dense urban environment where it’s theoretically possible
I would simply pull a Musashi and carve my oar in to a bokken, then use it to defeat the police when they arrive.
Has the local population been evacuated?
Medical bills are not included in the property damage total in this scenario
Lmao, I was more concerned about innocent bystanders, but good to know.
throw it into a running jet engine
how much is the oar worth?
before your crime spree? negligible.
after? depends on what you accomplish with it
I guess it ultimately depends on what’s nearby
If I’m in some derelict, abandoned factory building, I’d be proud of myself if I managed $100 in damage
In an art museum, I might be able to make that in a few well placed swings
Aren’t those police patrol cars like $100,000 a pop?
Swing once and pass out from exertion
I’m sitting in my office currently. there are like 200 lcd monitors in my eyeline right now.
however, the crowd of people around me might do something if i just start swinging given the wtf reaction would be high.
so i’m walking straight over to the lifts and going to the carpark. would take be 1-2 mins to get down there.second option that just came into my head: i’m sure someone in my immediate vicinity smokes, so i could get a lighter and light the oar on fire. this would trigger the smoke alarms and sprinklers, the water would then presumably destroy nearly all of the hundreds of monitors, dell docks, laptops and the proper IT dev pcs/internal environment servers on our floor. not as cathartic, but an efficient win i guess
Can I use the wooden oar as firewood to start a fire directly underneath the propane canister cage outside of a Home Depot with a crowded parking lot? Failing that, same question, but gas station full of either luxury cars or oversized pedestrian-killer pickup trucks.
Yeah, that’s where I was leaning. Plenty of places have natural gas. You can probably take out a whole building. Then there’s infrastructure equipment like fiber optic distribution hubs and power transformers.
we wield so much more power than we perceive
Uphold BG3 Barrelmancer thought.
A window is a few hundos each. Find the shiniest office buildings and go hog wild.
I’m currently boondocking in a national park so… I could break the oar, but I probably need it to kayak home.
I’d try to fuck up an auto repair shop, and then give a few minutes to the corner store by me (the owner is a homie tho so I’d feel terrible)
