Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.

What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand

  • pooberbee (they/she)@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    I don’t buy the misogyny arguments here. I remember being a teenager, and that shit feels desperate. Everybody else is hooked up and they seem so happy, and you’ve found someone you feel like you can really connect with, but they don’t feel the same. So you’ve made a big deal of it in your mind and when they say “I think of you more as a friend”, it feels like a full-on breakup.

    Of course, you still have to get over it, just like a breakup. Learning to deal with that stuff is part of growing up.

    Even as an adult, couples tend to hang out with other couples, and it can be challenging to be the single person in a group.

    I know some people go too far, wallowing in self-pity over being friendzoned, and it can poison a person. Maybe it seems silly from the outside, and you think they should just get over it, but I think people deserve empathy and support as much as possible. Ideally we can help people work through their shit and not let this little blip in their lives come to define them.

    Okay I’m done rambling. Thanks for reading.

    • DroneRights [it/its]@hexbear.netBanned
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      2 years ago

      What part of “you’ve found someone you feel like you can really connect with” excludes being friends or queerplatonic partners with that person? Ideally all your friendships should have a deep feeling of personal connection and love.

    • star_wraith [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      I think you summed up my thoughts on this better than I could ever articulate. It’s like it’s become a thing now to take any negative feelings about romantic or sexual rejection and ascribe to it the label “incel” just because some / many people deal with that rejection in unhealthy ways.

      I found myself in the friend zone lots of times in my single days. It sucks and it hurt. But I didn’t go online and whinge about it or say all women are bad or whatever or let it mutate into anti-social behaviors. I maybe felt down for a bit and then moved on, nbd. That’s how I bet most people deal with it.

    • christiansocialist [none/use name]@hexbear.netBanned
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      2 years ago

      Maybe it seems silly from the outside, and you think they should just get over it, but I think people deserve empathy and support as much as possible. Ideally we can help people work through their shit and not let this little blip in their lives come to define them.

      meow-hug

      Yeah it definitely is a shitty feeling, and those that try to convince you it’s not are honestly trying to gaslight you (whether intentionally or not).