allthetimesivedied [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 9 months ago
allthetimesivedied [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 9 months ago
I’m not saying what’s going on because I dead ass know what everyone is going to say and it’s just pointless anyways.
I’ve basically already given up but gone now is the pretense of wanting to try. No more plans to start transitioning again. No more rehab. No more exfoliating. No more wanting to learn how to make plushies. No more silly hopes and dreams. No more trying to dress nice and look cool. It’s all fucking gone.
I am sorry you feel like this. I have been through a lot, so I know the feeling of wanting to give up very well. All I can say is that I am really glad I never actually completely gave up. Giving up will not make you feel better.
I am not sure whether you are angry, you sound angry. So, do what you have to do to deal with this feeling. Screaming in my car and punching a pillow works for me. And then think about why things are not working the way you want it and try something new.