I am currently on vacation and going to the beach sucks because I see these girls my age and think “Holy shit, I want to look like that.” But then I get heavy impostor syndrome. Maybe this is just me being attracted and wanting to be trans, so my brain makes it think it’s envious when it’s just attracted? So, how do you tell envy from attraction?

  • RileyIsBad (she/her)@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Why not both?

    I’m a transfemme lesbian, and pretty much ever cute girl I see makes me freak out like that. Like, "do I want to be them or be with them?

    It’s definitely hard to deal with in the beginning, especially if you haven’t fully accepted that you’re trans. Just to remind you, cis people don’t think like that :p

    Hope that helps <3

    • Evergreen5970@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      Cis woman attracted to men here. If I woke up tomorrow looking like the most attractive man I’d ever seen, I would freak out and find a doctor who would help me transition back as soon as possible.

      • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.orgM
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        1 year ago

        That’s totally valid, but I want to point out to people who may be confused that how strongly one feels about gender is a spectrum! I personally don’t really care how I look anymore and I never had strong feelings about masc/femme presenting body. For someone like @[email protected], they may have difficulty separating envy from attraction because they don’t feel strongly about how they currently look, or how they look in general. When I see an aesthetic I like, I almost always am simultaneously attracted to it on multiple dimensions and want to embody it too! I’d love to be able to shapeshift, because then my body could more easily fit how I feel that day, or that I could just explore all the world has to offer.

        • RileyIsBad (she/her)@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          If I could shapeshift, I’d be too hot for this universe, hence why I can’t shapeshift, and no one can prove otherwise 😤

          Also, you put it perfectly! Significantly more coherent than what I was trying to say, but that’s what I get for trying to comment something that in-depth whilst on my 15 minute break lmao

        • hoyland@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          Though it’s worth mentioning that it’s crap as an “am I trans” thought experiment. I am long post-medical transition and my reaction is “well that’d be weird, but whatever, I’d get on with life, I suppose” and then I remember I’ve been there, done that! Somehow transitioning was very much about my body (top surgery was like a switch flipping) and also not about my body.

            • hoyland@beehaw.org
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              1 year ago

              No, no. The “oh god that’d be terrible” reaction is probably a pretty good indicator one isn’t trans (or at least I’ve never encountered a trans person reporting that pre-transition), it’s just that people sometimes assume the “well that’d be odd, but whatever” reaction doesn’t exist in people both cis and trans.

      • Pixel@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Importantly, you recognize the divide in those two things so clearly there is one for you, but if you were questioning it the same way OP is and the divide were less clear accordingly, I’d say that divide wouldn’t really matter much

        • Evergreen5970@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          I think it would matter if I wanted to figure out whether I was trans or not. For some people it might not be that important to hammer down their gender identity, and nobody should feel an obligation to, but other people might find it personally important to figure out their identity instead of leaving it be as a question mark. I think that OP might be more of the latter kind of person who wants to figure it out.

          • Pixel@beehaw.org
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            1 year ago

            Yeah I suppose the reading kinda changes based on how far along OP is in their gender journey lol

    • noddy@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      I have had similar thoughts as well as a cis gay man. Do I find this guy attractive, or do I want to be this guy. It’s sometimes hard to tell the difference.