I don’t wanna get rejected so we just meet at work and chat on the phone sometimes.

HOW THE FUCK DO I JUST ASK THEM TO HANG OUT IN PERSON. HOW THE FUCK DO. I. STOP. BEING. AWKWARD. AAAAAAARGH.

I just wanna be friends cri

  • Cowbee [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    31·
    3 months ago

    Treat them like a friend! Ask em if they want to hang out at some new event, let the relationship grow. Invite a bunch of people, ask em if they want to stay a little longer to get 1 on 1 time, or ask them if they want to meetup first to carpool.

    Signed - awkward as fuck nerd i-love-not-thinking

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      15·
      3 months ago

      That’s how I did it! I had feelings for a person but they were with someone, so I just beed friends with both of them (it did help that I liked their partner a lot!)

      Then they weren’t together anymore and I was also solo, so I just gave it some time and be’d a friend in our friend group and one day told them “I’m taking you out for sushi but it’s NOT A DATE but I wanna just chill and chat one on one but it’s NOT A DATE” and they giggled and said something like “that sounds lovely”

      (Edit; I should mention this was back when we smoked weed and we smoked before eating and basically said nothing the whole meal, it was the most awkward not-date I’ve ever been on)

      When we got back to my car I noticed they had a sketchbook sticking out of their bag. I asked about their art. Maybe they planned that—I very much enjoy that.

      We’ve been together going on 13 years.

          • Cowbee [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
            5·
            3 months ago

            Against all odds it worked out, haha. Probably would have been worse if we didn’t commit to dating soon after meeting, which could have been a huge mess. Always feel like a hypocrite when I warn against dating coworkers lol

            • Des [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
              4·
              3 months ago

              for me and my partner we were in different departments so even if it went to shit we would have been able to easily ignore each other

              so maybe best general advice is make sure you aren’t working in close proximity or direct collaboration. but at my company there are some really gross abuses at the upper management levels with married couples with supervisory roles over each other. i wonder if they let it happen because it makes them look “dedicated”. like “you’ll basically live at work anyways so might as well marry each other”