Why did I pay $15 to watch some xenomorph
spoiler
human baby attempt to breastfeed from its obviously disgusted mother. DUMB
Good for Weyland Yutani on creating a colony of British/English people on Jackson’s Star.
2.5/5
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I refuse to look up Alien Romulus and I choose to believe it’s just a shitpost. Let’s go watch Alien Qo’noS, and watch a xenomorph do violent sex stuff allegory, then we kill her. Alien Cardassia Prime is going to fuckin’ rule guys.
Alien Trill would get… confusing.
every franchise will be squeezed for profit until you recoil in disgust at the very mention of its name
That’s how I already feel about both the MCU and the Spider-Man reboot/origin-reboot parade. I heard Into the Spiderverse was really good but my allergies kicked up too much to try it.
The cartoon one with the anarchist spiderman was pretty good
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I mean, I didn’t hate it. There is a lot of gross use of Ian Holm’s face for Ash that made me roll my eyes every time he popped up. The story itself was pretty meh - but if you watched Prometheus and Covenant (or Resurrection) and went “
” it’s a solid film.I will say the standout actor is David Jonsson for his role as Andy. Probably really the only thing that kept me in my seat besides the fact that I like movies set in space & like watching slop in the theaters. Should I have seen Trap instead though? Probably.
My consensus? Unless you’re an Aliens fan, catch it on a matinee or when it hits streaming.
when it hits streaming
Don’t you mean
Exactly
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wait until you can pirate a webrip, we don’t need to keep encouraging studios to produce artless franchise slop
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idk I haven’t seen anything that’s currently out. I also haven’t seen anything since Furiosa, in fact I think that’s the only movie I’ve seen in a theater all year
edit: they just re-released Coraline in theaters, so I’d see that lol
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huh, well I never read the book but the movie is great, probably the best stop-motion animated movie ever made
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Fede Álvarez is such an edgelord hack, his previous two projects were Don’t Breathe 2, a movie where
CW: SA
the turkey-baster rapist from the first movie gets an epic redemption arc and becomes the “hero”
and that awful Texas Chainsaw remake that isn’t even worth discussing. but this is Hollywood so he will continue to fail upwards and brainless horror fans will keep lapping this franchise slop up like the good little piggies they are
say what you want about Prometheus, at least it was about something
and that awful Texas Chainsaw remake
THEY GOT THE TCM 2022 GUY TO DO ALIENlmao yeah I mean technically he only came up with the story and didn’t write the actual script or direct. but that’s maybe even worse because other people had to do all the hard work in executing his terrible ideas while he gets to rake in the profits as a producer
and honestly Álvarez is a competent director but he shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a script. but I guess it’s cheaper to have him direct his shitty first drafts instead of having to pay a talented screenwriter
Our slop franchises in good hands, I see
lmao yeah I mean technically he only came up with the story and didn’t write the actual script or direct
my new headcanon is this is why there’s a
spoiler
prometheus baby birth scene
Why do people keep falling for the Alien meme dude? They already played all their lore cards and they really suck. If you’re going to loop back into the significance of humanity in scifi, at least make a statement. The whole franchise at this point runs on this needlessly pretentious vibe they never back up.
Do they explain why it has that name or what it has to do with rome?
Yes.
So the wolf is the human?
The wolf is Xenomorph
Does it have xenobazongas?
Just got back from it moments ago, and I kinda liked it?
It definitely winked too hard a couple times at the audience (hey remember THIS from the other movies?) but I thought it looked pretty solid throughout, i thought the new takes on some things were cool, and i weirdly appreciated the Resurrection/Prometheus pieces that were taken, despite strongly disliking those movies. I am usually a very harsh critic on movies, so maybe i’m finally old or maybe its because i’m just a little tiny bit high, but its better than i feared and i’m gonna count it as a win.
I’m with you. It definitely didn’t need to reference the older movies as much, deepfake Ian Holm was totally unnecessary, but for being a horror thriller I thought it kept up the tension pretty well. Not exactly high art, but definitely a good popcorn movie.
Not exactly high art, but definitely a good popcorn movie.
yeah I think we’re all in agreement that it isn’t a horrible movie but no better than anything else currently in theaters.
it was trash, thank hollywood for cams
