I mean it’s pretty much the cycle whenever men have legitimate issues about something in the cisgender heterosexual dynamic. (So glad I’m not a part of that). From my observations, it starts like this:
1- Someone asks men why they don’t do X thing or why they think in a Y way. (In this case thinking that such a compliment is backhanded and insulting)
2- Men answer why. (Explaining why they view it this way)
3- Some women who don’t like the answers, proceed to shame and try convincing the men into believing they’re the ones wrong, or acknowledge that it’s a legitimate issue but deflect the blame by saying “not all people do this”.
4- Guys see no reason to do or think any different than before and their beliefs are often reinforced. (Gender polarisation increases between men and women).
Yeah as a (mostly) het man this is a toxic dynamic I’ve encountered. I had one partner straight up say to me (paraphrasing a bit) “well I experience emotions more intensely than you so you have more a responsibility to be sensitive to me than I to you”.
Some women who don’t like the answers, proceed to shame and try convincing the men into believing they’re the ones wrong, or acknowledge that it’s a legitimate issue but deflect the blame by saying “not all people do this”. (We are here now)
I mean it’s pretty much the cycle whenever men have legitimate issues about something in the cisgender heterosexual dynamic. (So glad I’m not a part of that). From my observations, it starts like this:
1- Someone asks men why they don’t do X thing or why they think in a Y way. (In this case thinking that such a compliment is backhanded and insulting)
2- Men answer why. (Explaining why they view it this way)
3- Some women who don’t like the answers, proceed to shame and try convincing the men into believing they’re the ones wrong, or acknowledge that it’s a legitimate issue but deflect the blame by saying “not all people do this”.
4- Guys see no reason to do or think any different than before and their beliefs are often reinforced. (Gender polarisation increases between men and women).
5- Go back to number 1 and start over.
It’s literally the same cycle over and over.
Yeah as a (mostly) het man this is a toxic dynamic I’ve encountered. I had one partner straight up say to me (paraphrasing a bit) “well I experience emotions more intensely than you so you have more a responsibility to be sensitive to me than I to you”.
Removed by mod
I think that’s a really bad faith interpretation of his comment
I this his comment is a bad faith interpretation of why this sort of thing makes women angry.
Fuck yeah, it’s so awesome that I’m “some women” now.
this is an exceptionally bad faith interpretation of their comment and you know it