I don’t have anything to look forward to in life except money entering my direct deposit every two weeks and back catalogs of podcasts. I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.

  • HotAtForty [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    Hit the gym, get swole, and then either you’re ready for whatever comes next or you can engage in hedonism while hot

      • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        yeah its weird “advice”, exercise does play a role in boosting serotonin levels and increasing longevity but a person doesn’t need to become a bodybuilder to gain these benefits

      • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        It’s not easy, but mental fitness is possible with effort. Why is there so much stigma around giving people good advice? Sure well people can overstate how easy they think it is, but I’m pretty depressed most of the time and I still find interesting and healthy things to do. I know I’m lucky and it hasn’t cured me, but it’s possible to feel ok sometimes if you’re mindful and touch grass (I would never blame anyone for not doing those things, I’m just trying to help).

          • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]@hexbear.net
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            3 months ago

            Well, they’re wrong. Exercise objectively makes you feel better, like good food, socializing, doing things, and meditating. Obviously if you get too goal oriented (I don’t feel muscular enough etc) it can be bad, but generally such actions are good. I’m a big nihilist with executive dysfunction. When I do such things out of obligation, I still feel the benefit.

        • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          3 months ago

          telling depressed people to magically come up with the willpower to do a bunch of hard work is completely unhelpful.

          speaking for myself, if i had that effort to give and keep up consistently over a period of years i wouldn’t have a problem in the first place and i’d be a good little PMC stemlord somewhere making the world worse instead of being a complete burnout.

              • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]@hexbear.net
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                3 months ago

                Again, I know it’s not easy. No one is motivated to do what is good for them every day. The key is habit. I didn’t feel like meditating, walking my dog, or climbing today, and I may have done them poorly, but I did them. I did them because I have to every day regardless of how I feel. I don’t feel good, but I would feel worse if I didn’t. I know it seens hopeless when you’re depressed, but I like being pessimistic because I keep trying and eventually something will go slightly better than I imagine and I’ll be pleased. I guess I’m lucky to have a little hypomania from time to time, but I promise things change eventually and the world isn’t so bad if you get out of your head and experience it sometimes (I’m usually miserably in my head, but it’s true).

                • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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                  3 months ago

                  i don’t form habits or routines like that, and i always chafed against any kind of regular schedule

                  but I promise things change eventually

                  sounds like survivorship bias. the people who it doesn’t improve for probably don’t stick it out. It’s been getting worse for 10+ years. Attempts to get treatment over the years ranged from useless to incredibly harmful. There’s… well, I’ll skip the trauma dumping, tl;dr i need to be rescued, not bootstraps.

        • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          3 months ago

          But once you get started and keep going, exercise can make a big difference.

          lmao


          However, pills aren’t the only solution. Research shows that exercise is also an effective treatment. "For some people it works as well as antidepressants,

          this is an indictment of antidepressants. SSRIs work like 1/3 of the time. not even a fucking coin flip. if exercise is the same as our top of the line medication then it’s a fucking joke too and y’all are in here telling us to do shit that works less than half the time and the minority of success stories are equivalent to cherrypicked successes of liberal bootstraps ideology.

          although exercise alone isn’t enough for someone with severe depression,"

          yeah harvard, you just said it doesn’t help 70% of the time

      • HotAtForty [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        ?? I didn’t say they were fat.

        I told them to lift. If they aren’t fat then they should get fat while they lift. Gotta bulk and cut.

        My reaction was that OP is bored and likes listening to podcasts. Lifting will make that experience more fun.

        All these replies “but that won’t cure cancer as well” are missing the point in a weirdly defensive way about stuff I never said. Projecting ass mfers.

        • OrionsMask [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          3 months ago

          I’m not projecting, this is just something I see time and time again, guys implying that other guys online they know nothing about are depressed because they’re fat.

          You say hit the gym, implying they don’t already. You say get swole, implying they aren’t already. You say engage in hedonism, implying they don’t already. You say get hot, implying they aren’t already. To me, that’s clear cut you’re implying they’re fat and need to fix it. Cause I guess swole, hedonistic, hot people have nothing to be depressed about? You catch my drift?

          I mean it’s not that deep, I’m just bored of the line that getting swole is the answer to depression, it’ll probably help just as any exercise will if you’re lacking it but it’s not going to fix your problems, despite what queues of men are waiting to tell you.

          EDIT: Also I love all sorts of body types. Plenty of chubby guys who are hot and sweethearts. Plenty of skinny guys who are drop dead gorgeous. And loads in between. Why they gotta be swole to be hot.

    • Nakoichi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      This is a shitty take. I’m pretty fit and good looking for someone my age or so I hear, but I really suck at picking up on social kills and have terrible self esteem issues/depression and anxiety, also as @[email protected] said it’s lame to just assume someone’sstruggle is just because they are ugly or out of shape, i don’t think you inrended harm but show a little more empathy when a comrade is struggling.

        • Chronicon [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          3 months ago

          its not bad advice and I don’t think you meant anything by it, but saying “get swole and then you can do hedonism while hot” does absolutely assume OP is not already swole.

          • HotAtForty [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            3 months ago

            There’s being “not swole” and there is being ugly and you are the one conflating those two things not me, and if OP is already swole then that wouldn’t offend them and saying to someone who isn’t swole that getting swole will make them hotter is a broadly true thing to say, personal preferences of course introducing variance but the swole get more hedonistic interest it’s just a fact.

            If I say someone should moisturize I am not calling them ugly and it’s a chip on your shoulder if you assume I’m insulting your appearance if I say those who use sun screen look better than those who don’t.

            Lifting weights is fun and goes well with podcasts.