I know that here I am pretty loud and obnoxious, but IRL I actually have like, really bad social anxiety. Especially when talking to guys. (Actually come to think of it it’s usually only happens when I have to talk to guys I find attractive crush )

Sometimes it’s fine, but other times it’s like my brain does a blue screen of death and I can’t even think of words to say.

Is there a way to get my brain working normal in these situations? I already taken anti-anxiety meds and they help a little, but not always.

Any tips to stop my goofy ass brain from crashing?

  • LaughingLion [any, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    11·
    2 months ago

    Getting in voice chat in online gaming communities is one way to help because it’s a lot lower bar for anxiety, if you embarrass yourself you can just quit the community and never go back.

    But mostly it’s learning how to deal with fuckups. I play instruments and it’s the same deal. When you blow a note or something you just keep playing. You can’t stop and restart, that’s bad and totally stops the flow of a piece. It works like this in conversation kind of.

    If you say a word wrong you repeat the word in the incorrect way like a question and then laugh and then say the word correctly and keep going. Like, you be the one to have a little laugh at your mistake, it completely takes the power away from anyone else pointing it out and laughing at it. Or if you can’t remember a word (I have ADHD and this happens a lot) I usually in a casual setting say, “I don’t know you know the fucking thing, anyways” and just keep going because 99% of the time the person knows what I’m saying anyhow.

    One last tip is in social anxiety there is a lot of pressure you put on yourself to fill the silence. Overcoming social anxiety in a lot of ways is overcoming your fear of that silence. Learning how to be comfortable in it. Learning how to be at peace being in the presence of other people and just vibing without the gab. That’s a tougher one because it requires you to learn to be more comfortable with yourself without fear of being judged.

    Oh and remember that we suffer more in imagination that in reality when it comes to this stuff. Your fears about what other people are thinking about you in any given situation are miles away from the reality of what they are thinking. Most of the negativity is in your head and they are also just trying to chill and be comfortable with themselves around other people, too. So really, don’t put as much pressure on yourself to gab. We have two ears and one mouth. Listen more than you talk. If you must fill the silence with chat, ask a person a question about themselves. People love talking about themselves and really take a liking to someone interested in listening to them. It’s almost a cheat code for getting people to like you.