During the pandemic I came out as non-binary due to my personal feelings on how I perceived myself and the way I am.

Lately over this past year I’ve been asking myself how do I feel. Many thought have been going through my head like I’d be happier if I was born a girl and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a vagina.

I’m also under immense stress in my personal life that may be exasperating these feelings but they existed before the stress.

My face is scraggly, my legs are a hairy mess. Thankfully I have a safe space with my wife who knows what I’m going through and a friend who listens and offers support. My biggest fear is addressing my family. My mom is still misgendering me and my trans BIL who has fully transitioned. She still lives us and I think she loves him but has fucked up ideas. My dad who has been divorced from my mom for nearly my whole life is full blood republican who believes in personal freedoms from his time in the military but I also don’t know his feelings on trans rights.

I know I’m ranting but I decided I need to crack this shell and figure things out.

I don’t know the first thing about makeup also clothes shopping is overwhelming.

  • WalrusDragonOnABike@kbin.social
    2·
    2 years ago

    Very relatable, but decided it doesn’t matter to me for now. Went through a period where it caused a lot of stress. I still think about it a lot, but its just background noise. Like others said, only you can figure out what is right for you.

    Things like whether I shave (or do other hair removal), want to wear dresses, wanted to be a girl in the past, or want to take E and what genitals I want or don’t want doesn’t really depend on whether I decide to call myself NB/agender or a woman or a NB woman. I can always change my mind later on. I figure the answers would be more obvious after becoming more true to what I want. Take steps forward where you can.