1. Even though you’re in the top 0.1%, under no circumstances should you hire a hitman.

  2. Have some elaborate and complicated plan to create an alibi. It should involve changed clocks around or having everyone think you’re there when you’re really not. The more intricate your alibi plan is, the better. All of those 30 steps in your plan will go perfectly.

  3. You’re gonna kill the closest person to you, either your spouse, your parent, or your best friend.

  4. Spend under 5 seconds feeling sad that the closest person to you is now dead. Get back to what you were doing before the murder. Let everyone know that you’re a happier version of yourself before that person died.

  5. Befriend in the warmest possible way the head investigator for the murder you just did. Let the guy into your home and offer him any courtesy and assistance that you can provide. Let him get cigar ash all over your personal space.

  6. Let the police search your home at all hours. Never insist on a warrant. Talk to the cops like you would your family. Never demand your right to have a lawyer present.

  7. After the homicide department has discovered a few inconsistencies in your story, just confess the murder immediately. Accept that you’ll spend the rest of your life in jail, there’s not point in fighting.

  8. Look that pig in the eye that got you a long jail sentence with profound love

Sorry I just binge watched seasons 1-5

  • hansolo@lemmy.todayEnglish
    14·
    1 个月前

    This is literally every episode. The thumbnail is from the one where the 0.01% could have made the robot do it and still did the killing themselves! WTF?

    FWIW, I enjoy Colombo and of you haven’t seen it, Poker Face is 100% a take on the same vibe, with occasional 70’s era camera work.

        • jack [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
          2·
          1 个月前

          Like, what if Columbo was funnier and had better politics? Every single cop/fed/troop in Poker Face is a bumbling idiot.

          The cop convention episode is an all time great.

          • hansolo@lemmy.todayEnglish
            3·
            1 个月前

            Funnier, but also not quite as hemmed in as actual Colombo. The formula is more like…guidelines.

            I really do love how there’s a lot of straight up 70s style cinematography. The long zoom and pull back with the sun causing lens flare in S2E1. Genius to just know that was worth doing.

            I seriously hated the Star Wars sequel trilogy, but by now Rain Johnson has at least made up for it in spades.