I might be way off the mark here but the more I think about self crit and my own neurodivergence (maybe I’m been a bit black and white about this) the idea of having a sub where people go to self flagrate over their mistakes to signal to us they are reformed?
I dunno chat.
I’ve lurked here a while and while some of the drama on here has been funny or sad or anger inducing, at no point did I ever feel satisfied reading a self crit post. I never felt “oh the sights clean now time to make an account”.
I butted heads with incels on here immediately and while those people genuinely made me uncomfortable i don’t wish to see a selfcrit from them. In fact it would frankly appear disingenuous and virtue signally to me.
Like if people get called out then it’s on them to go do the homework, I don’t expect to have to mark it though. The people I butted heads with about that incel thread got comments removed and temp banned. That seems reasonable to me. I’ll die inside if I see a self crit on it.
I dunno I think there’s a lot of neurodivergence on this site, myself included. We try to make it a safe space for everyone which is great.
I think what I’m worried is that a culture exists on here where if a ND makes a mistake, they may feel cut off and left out from a community they need for socialising and support unless they make a self flagrating post further signposting their mistakes.
There’s a very niche and cool silly culture on this site. For a lot of ND people who don’t have supportive irl group I can’t imagine how it would feel to make fuck up and then feel locked out or lost this clique. I don’t think making a new account is the answer either because people’s accounts and history are representatives of who they are so to lose that for some might be like losing their identity as well. Maybe I’m projecting here but if I really embarrassed myself and didn’t think people would talk to me as much on here because of it and that the only way to fix it was a self crit post. That’s scary.
And then when i see self crit posts I feel like “damn nobody needed this, it feels uncomfortable to see this” like them getting dog piled and a temp ban wasn’t enough punishment.
Like it felt maybe relevant when the admins/mods did some self crit on their behaviour but like they run the site so that kinda makes sense (not really)… or it might have if they all did it, so far I only saw like a few and even then it felt uncomfortable to read their comments.
Clearly they made a mistake and having to convince faceless terminally online people that they had the sites best interests at heart was sad to watch given they clearly did care cos of the graft they put into the site.
I dunno I don’t see the point in this comm personally but I’m bored, my tamagotchi just died and I have always kinda thought this since the comm appeared so like yeah, let me know what I’m missing because I’m not the world and obviously my single view will be bias and full of holes or missing context.
Until then the sub feels a bit like 
asking cheaters on fo76 to write an apology letter and it feels like a bit of a toxic power dynamic to have it on the site kinda looooming as an example of what happens to the naughty hexbears.
Edit: lmao I’ve deleted and undeleted this twice cos I’m scared of getting grief but then I’m kinda proving my point doing that so I’ll be a big girl and leave it up.
I think you’re missing a small bit of the point of the comm. In my eyes, it’s not really specifically for self-flagellating and I think anyone that uses it in that manner is using it incorrectly. To me it starts an inner conversation about why the actions that individual took to help them understand why it was bad. In conjunction with this, it most certainly can help other folks understand that this particular thought or opinion is problematic and why, so it can help them start that inner monologue with themselves to help them along.
For example, the most recent post my SorosFootSoldier doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence that, overnight, they suddenly see the error of their ways in regards to homophobia and will be rid of it immediately. Instead, it is an acknowledgement of their action and a start to understanding why that was wrong. And, hopefully, others that took the same action in that thread will read what was posted and do the same. Hopefully.
I do understand your concerns though. They are very valid and I can’t blame you for feeling the way you feel on the matter. I just wish that the content on that specific comm was a little more tightly controlled.
Great comment!
The self-crit comm is not intended to be a space for self-flagellation or verbal punishment from other users.
The space was proposed with pretty much the exact intention you expressed, to be a space for site users to share the process they took to learn and grow from on-site and off-site mistakes or reactionary beliefs, and to help start dialogues for other users to follow along with that learning and growing.
Right now, we’re a little concerned about post removals from the comm potentially worsening things if users are spiraling and self-flagellating. Site moderation is also trying to be extra forgiving across the whole site for the next bit given the often stressful nature of the holiday season, the recent struggle session, and the general reaction to recent attempts to more tightly control content on the site.
See i totally agree with you there, when it first appeared I had the exact same thinking. But over time I think the very act of having it in a specific sub creates a spectator sport of people’s worst moments.
Like if people wanted to self crit then making a post in c/chat raising what happened and having that growth and discussion there sounds great. But having specifically a sub for it feels like it’s takes the organic growth and desire from the user to acknowledge their mistake away. Like instead of them going “I should go on c/chat and talk about this productively to address my mistake” it feels like a signposted expectation. Like have they learnt if they didn’t decide for themselves? Like the initiative is important I feel. But that’s just me literally strawmanning tbh.
Awwh I hate referencing soros like they aren’t here but when I saw their post I didn’t read it and think “good self crit” youre based again. I’ve seen that user a lot and they aren’t a homophobe imo and it felt weird to see them essentially wearing that jacket to start a conversation BUT I’m not a gay man so it’s not my place to decide that or make any comment on it so disregard my opinion there lmao. I dunno like with the incels from last week, I’d feel so bad if one of them felt compelled to self crit. I’d rather they make a c/chat and just have an organic conversation on that they’ve learnt on their own initiative not because c/selfcrit gave them the idea.
And I totally see your points too! I think I’ll probably not engage with it myself but if it does help some positive growth in users then amazing and yes maybe it could be refocused to a more general critique of behaviour vs individuals unless it’s specifically relevant to a personal experience?
You raise some very good points here. It does seem like people do make the posts as an expectation now that there’s a contained area for it. But it is a double edged sword. Without it, it would rarely occur. With it, it occurs too often. A balanced would be nice to find, but I feel it’s too much of a razor’s edge. Maybe there’s a solution in there somewhere.
I don’t think Soros is homophobic either, but the opinion expressed was. There are many internalized thoughts that all of us have that are problematic in some way or another and this is one that Soros seems to have had. I know I have some myself and it sucks, but I try to root them out as I find them. Having him recognize and begin that process to root it out is wonderful.
Also, I’m obviously not a gay man, lol, but I definitely lived as one for a long time in my life. Opinions like the ones I saw yesterday still really hurt and fill me with a significant amount of disgust. I’m really glad that Soros started that conversation instead of it kinda just melting away into the modlog.
The value of the comm is nice, but it is lost through people trying to find instant salvation as well. Hopefully those who run the comm can either figure out a way to properly vet the info, create a template with which people can base their posts off of, or just shut it down entirely. Cause some of those posts are definitely self-aggrandizing.
I worry I’m strawmanning but yeah it’s the choice to address what they did on their own without needing a signpost vs only doing it because of the sign post. Like yeah I honestly cant think of the answer because I agree that it will have encouraged some to be more mindful which is good!
Yeah and that i do totally recognise, I know I’m a bad girly girl and removing the brain worms of associating women and feminity has been a long process for me. Thanks modern media! Lmao dirt_owls post earlier about literally that topic was a aaaaah fuck moment cos I know that conditioning will still hide in me subconsciously. Like self crit is hard, I’ve had cycles of “who cares if people are feminine but women should always try” and “other women can do what they want but I HAVE to be feminine” and it’s like I’m still being internally sexist, just cos I’m aiming it exclusively at myself doesn’t mean I’ve grown out of it. Self crit is so hard and it feels like such a personally journey sometimes imo I think that’s probably why the publicity of it all rubs me weirdly.
I can only imagine and while writing my post I couldn’t help but think “for users this offended I’m sure some of them feel catharsis from their self crit even others don’t” so I tried to not be too absolutist about what I thought so I’m glad you’ve said this.
Mmmm you’ve definitely convinced me of it staying around and agreed hopefully it can be more productive.
We need to specifically focus on encouraging thoughtfulness instead of guilt, which means kindness to people who have genuinely improved their behavior, which should incentivize doing it without having to make weird self flagellating posts
I feel like the urge for absolution is understandable but inevitably leads to things like this. It’s like we need an unspoken understanding that, if we change our behavior, the forgiveness is implied (eventually). Or at least good faith is (no one should feel obligated to forgive someone)