My dear girl of around 15 years just went. I don’t have any memories without her. I love her so much. I’m not sure I will make it. Last year around this time I lost my grandmother (raised me so I call her mom) due to family legally kidnapping her and sold her home while also evicting me. And now I lose the only thing I had left that I cared about. I had to sign the papers. I killed her. My mom didn’t even get to be there. Only via the phone.
Update: I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop hyperventilating. I haven’t ate or drank in over 24 hours now. What if she would have been fine. What if it was just a minor set back. What if she thinks I killed her over the first inconvenience. Why did i do it. I killed her. Why. She is my everything. How can I eat when she can’t. How can I get sleep when she can’t. How can I be happy without her.
You’re so much stronger than me. I just added an update to the post. I can’t do this.
Nah man, you’re all good, you got this, it sucks balls but it does get better, the sad thoughts always get replaced with happy memories. I was broken for months, I had one mental breakdown and when I got asked what could fix it all that could come out was " I just want my dog back", so i know how you’re feeling, but it does get easier.
I filtered and blocked anything on Lemmy that upset or angered me and just found shit that brought me joy and did things that brought me joy , just fill your spare time with dumb fun things that hit that serotonin button in your head, that helps a lot, even those stupid mobile games help.