• kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    generally dont consider using they/them to be misgendering tbh, i default to it in trans spaces when i dont know someones gender. but its clearly being used in the plural here

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      generally dont consider using they/them to be misgendering tbh

      I’m making exceptions for when pronouns are unknown, or when you’re talking about people in general, and ofc for plural they like in this case that i’ve completely gotten wrong, but once we’re adressing known individuals who’ve stated their pronouns, i’m under the very firm assumption that if these people would be fine with they / them, they would state it as a secondary set of pronouns. When people do not do that, i will never use a singular they / them on them just as i wouldn’t he / him or she / her them if these aren’t their pronouns. I know there’s a bunch of folks both cis and trans who see this different than me and don’t mind it, but there absolutely are trans people who find it highly offensive and hurtful, including myself, and also including PhilosophyTube, who will block anybody they / theming her. British terfs are extremly fond of using they / them to deniably misgender binary trans people, too, it’s defintily not without its problems.

      but its clearly being used in the plural here

      It absolutely is, i hope @[email protected] sees my apology in time and that it helps her at least a bit. She sounded so upset, it’s horrible i’ve wronged her like this.