My hyper-Catholic grandfather called me “selfish” for being childfree, and I feel like he’s viewing it as “selfishness against God” in a way.
I’m biologically unable to have kids because of gender transition anyway, but obviously, it’s not like his religion approves of that either. We don’t talk anymore, and that’s the happiest path for the both of us, even if he doesn’t realize it.
The amount of anguish my parents endured when they found out I got a vasectomy was very unhinged. Especially considering I have two kids already.
For me, there’s always been hella goalpost movements.
I’ve been of a childfree mentality since I was a kid myself, and I’m not sure if this is a neurodivergent thing, but I could never get, even into puberty and adulthood, why people kept telling me shit like “You’ll change your mind when you get older!”
When I was 12 and said that I don’t want kids, I got a buncha “Wait until you’re deep into puberty, and then you’ll change your mind about it.”
When I was 16 and 17 and still felt the same way, they said, “Wait until you get in the scene of dating as an adult; then you’ll want kids!”
Even when I was 18, 19, and 20, I got a lot of the “You’re too young to know that!” shit, even from the same people who told me the aforementioned things at younger ages.
Some people also believe that love can be so irrational that it’ll change your mind on core principles you hold, such as voluntary childlessness. I literally dated a woman that I was all lovey-dovey about and could not stop gushing about, and when she revealed to me that she actually wanted to see about raising kids with me (through adoption if we had to), my love began to diminish quick, not just for that reason but due to other incompatibilities as well.
The question of “Why do you not want kids?” could never be something I could answer with an actual reason. I could only answer with the inverse question, “Why would I want kids?”
This is an overwhelmingly cisheteronormative thing too because cissies and heteros will unleash the homophobia and misogyny combo on lesbians regarding them not getting impregnated by a man especially. It’s gross.
Also, how relentless people are with trying to affirm that my voluntary childlessness is invalid indirectly communicates that these people see being childfree as being broken. They’d never tell a teenager who wants children, “But what if you change your mind and end up actually not wanting kids?” for example.
