I’ve been unemployed for almost 6 months now. I wasn’t even paid enough while I was working, but now, I’ve depleted all my savings, my credit card balance is going up, I’m not even sure how much longer I can keep collecting unemployment, I still have absolutely zero job prospects, I’m having a hard time affording anything that gives me genuine enjoyment.
Beyond money, I don’t have a good social life. I really only have acquaintances who would all rather be with other people. Me thinking about finding love feels like me thinking about being a billionaire, basically just a fantasy so far from the conditions of my life, it’s absurd.
If I finally get a job, what then? I still have to scrounge to financially recover? I’m still alone? What do I even have to live for?
Life doesn’t need to have a meaning that aligns with the idealist timeline held by society/media. I’ve done long stents of unemployment (longest was 7yrs), even have the same acquaintance situation (easy to hookup, beyond that idk about relationships never seriously tried), I just try for low grade improvement since its good to have some sort of small goals, when things are bad aim for ever smaller like finding things you enjoy. There’s other approaches for consolation, like life itself when one is held down so strongly being seen as a revolutionary act though very small in the scheme of things they compound over time.
I only have credit cards since when I got kicked off medical they gave me some bs statement claiming I made 24k a year, I’ve so far made 8k this year and haven’t got back on (that extrapolating my income hurts), but this was good enough for me to get started with 2 cards since it worked as a statement of income. Now I’m recovering my credit from a bunch of identity theft I’ve had done under my name, which was weird to begin with since I only have student loans in my name, no real income nor credit history etc.