a quaint, pastoral, sustainable version of being petite-bourgeois.

Or as I like to call it, “Hobbitcore.”

Surely you mean it comes with a 1000 dollar monitor, not…just the monitor stand?

I still have nightmares from the porn I’ve found on emule decades ago. Apparently some people have fetishes that involve brutally killing animals…

Holy fuck, emule?! At this point, just use usenet.

I’ve written poorer documentation than this.

“Here is a work around to fix [weird bug in production]:”

“Edit: Disregard the above. It fixes [weird bug in production] but causes [bad thing] to happen.”

“Edit 2: Apparently the first edit is wrong. It doesn’t cause [bad thing] to happen. Bad thing just happened to occur simultaneously the first time I did the workaround.”

“Edit 3: [weird bug in production] has been fixed. This workaround is no longer needed.”

“Edit 4: Turns out [weird bug in production] we fixed is what allowed our systems to communicate with one another. Had to rollback change. Work around is now considered ‘the fix’ going forward.”

“Edit 5: Turns out it DOES cause [bad thing] to happen, but [bad thing happening] is a core component of our system’s design and also PAYROLL NEEDS IT TO FUNCTION?!”

I just looked at the product page and every single image makes me dislike this product more than the last. The goddamn thing probably weighs 10 pounds and comes with fucking wheels.

Edit: Apparently it weighs 37 pounds. I don’t know how they crammed that much bullshit into a 18 by 9 by 20 box, but they did and then they slapped wheels on it. The wheels are probably considered a two thousand dollar “value” by Apple, though.