At my first job, they hired me to do some really boring, repetitive stuff, but they weren’t too particular about how I did it. So I taught myself how to get real good at Excel and VBA and automated most of my work. They noticed and then they made that my job.

Ten years later, after several organizational shifts, most of my work was back to being boring, repetitive stuff. My workload was split evenly between running manual reports and maintaining old, bloated projects. But this time it was worse because my manager was hostile towards me and literally could not understand what it meant for me to write code in VBA. Like, no matter how many times I showed him what I could do, he still thought I was just clicking “record” and automating things that way. Ultimately, he just didn’t like me. My performance reviews weren’t getting better, and there was no more future in the role.

So I automated the reports and didn’t tell anyone. It bought me several hours per day to work on whatever I wanted, like my resumé. When I eventually left (for like a 60% pay raise), I sent all the automation to the other person on my team who ran those reports. I don’t know what she did with it.

How else will I print out MapQuest directions?

I had this discussion with my wife a few weeks ago. She did that to a work colleague who took offense to it. I explained that that’s because her colleague is about 8 years younger than us.

Basically, if the recipient is 35 and under, it’s offensive. If they’re 40 and older, it’s not. Anywhere in between, look for context.

My favorite part about my Dark Urge playthrough is that they often phrase the option as something like, “think about hurting the cat,” and that cat was just a dick to me so while I’d never actually hurt the cat, I can certainly think- oops, I just fucking tortured and murdered that cat.

I used to be able to send my girlfriend a T9 text just by feel, without taking my eyes off the road. Probably had a 95% accuracy rate, but “I like your bombs” still makes sense.

I hate that music nowadays is supposed to go through my phone. I’m on my phone constantly. It’s ridiculous that I can’t do that while listening to music. A dedicated music player is essential.

Although I eventually gave up on CDs and now I just use an old phone.

As a Millennial, I’m confused why you wouldn’t use the correct White Ninja meme on the left.

I had a social life in college, but in my early 20s I moved across the country and had to start from scratch. So I knew how to be friends with people but not how to make friends.

Of course it’s possible. You can make friends at any age. Just don’t look to tv and movies to define what a “social life” is. It’ll probably be more sparse and less stable than sitcoms would have you believe.

The best way to start is to take up a hobby that involves interacting with real people.

Or just stop after the first sentence.

Have you tried saying, “Please don’t ask me that anymore”?

That will address the exact problem without being rude, without offending him, and without opening it up for more questions. You don’t owe him an explanation, so don’t leave an opening for one. Just say: “Please don’t ask me that anymore.”

If he asks why, you say, “Doesn’t matter. Please don’t ask me that anymore.”

If he offers an explanation for why he’s asking you that, you say, “Ok. Please don’t ask me that anymore.”

Neat and easy. No unintended consequences.