Yes colors have a meaning. However, they change ober time and culture. So why not use the word which describes exactly what we mean?

I agree, nowadays blacklist/whitelist has practically nothing to do with skin color. However i do think it is weird to use the same words for describing the appearance of people and good/bad.

Well i would be indifferent to the renaming to primary, because it doesn’t really matter to me what they call their branches, as long as it is descriptive. primary also conveys the meaning. I would probably continue using main/dev because i see no reason to change.
I am not someone who says “You should change this!”. I just say, think of it, there are some reasons to change and the only reason to keep it, os that we did it always like this. I think there are reasons for selecting better words. And I am only annoyed by people who are outraged by things others do, which does not really affects them negatively. I get it that someone wants to continue using blacklist, master, etc. and I am ok with that.

Even ignoring the question of racism, they are still stupid names.

Imagine teaching a child about this and it asks: Why is white allowed and black not? The only answer is, because it is like this for a long time. If we name them allowlist and denylist, it is obvious to all English speaking people. Shouldn’t we strive for descriptive names in programming?

However, if you use names whitelist an blacklist, you need to make the implicit connection white-positive black-negative. Yes obviously this does not make you racist if you do this in programming. But is it good?

Yes that is the point. They made the choice to change their default. You can still make the choice to name your branches, especially the main one, as you like. Setting it for a project is less work than complaining about it.

I cannot recommend mindfulness enough, as already suggested by many others in this thread.

I think, you said you are already in therapy? In this case, I would definitely talk with your therapist about this and things you want to adopt beforehand. If you want a simple concrete tip, you could try the “mindfulness coach” by the US department of veteran affairs. I liked it a lot and the apps from there get good privacy recommendations from mozilla.

I am a bit suprised by the many people recommending to just stop giving fucks. Is this what you really want? Or do you just want avoid the emotions of taking control?

You do not need to be that hard to yourself when your feeling “wrong”. Yes it is probably better for yourself if you don’t overreact. However you cannot really cotntrol your feelings. So it is still better to accept your anger. First, as you said, it drives up the frustration, because now you are also worried about your feelings. And second your original emotion wants to be “noticed”. I read and experienced a few times myself, the “wrong” emotion disappears often quickly when you accept it. It is an essential concept of mindfulness, to accept your emotions.

Edit: As far as i understand it and experienced it, saying to yourself “no i shouldn’t be angry about this” won’t change your thinking

Don’t be so pessimistic about it, i thought as you do. However, if you meet a person fitting to you, it is of no importance that you have no experience. I had my first date recently, probably ten years later than most. While i was embarrassed, it was no problem for her and she was very considerate to me.