I’M HIT

powpowpowpowpowpowpowpowpowpow

I noticed on paragraph 3 of this policy-mandated letter that literally no one but me will ever read–and it’s mind-boggling that even I read it–that you referred to “December 2022.”

As it is December 2023, and December 2023 is referred to multiple times elsewhere in the aforementioned letter, can you please clarify to which month this document refers?

Thank you in advance.

Grand Theft Auto 6: Everything We Know So Far

I hate it when someone with these lights is in the passing lane behind you, and their lights reflect off your side mirror directly into your eyes. The worst is when they’re only going like 102% your speed, so they linger there unless you adjust your own speed to change their placement relative to you.

Prison. Immediately.

Two of the derailed cars were carrying molten sulfur, which caught fire after the cars were breached… it is believed that the fire is releasing sulfer dioxide

Sulfer dioxide is pretty nasty on a person’s throat and sinuses to breathe and can make fluid build up in the lungs, and it can have longer-term effects if the exposure is sustained.

A little molten sulfur never hurt anybody!

Decent quality automatic cat feeders.

We have 3 cats, and I resisted getting autofeeders for 5 years because it felt silly to buy what amounts to three $75 food bowls.

They paid for themselves the first weekend I didn’t have 3 razor sharp dickheads screaming at me to feed them at 5:15 AM. I should have bought them years ago.

Add to this that the child is also made entirely of rubber and could easily withstand the train’s impact and experience no measurable hardship. However, the impact of Superman halting the train caused wreckage to fly all over the place and damage the surrounding infrastructure… which in this case is a metaphor for literal fucking infrastructure.

“Girl, I roll 1.3 million dues payers deep. A threat to one is a threat to all, motherfucker, come get some.”

A labor leader with 18 years in union administration has admittedly probably gotten soft, but I got 10 on a teamster every time.

Relatable.

I wonder how much difference one Stinger SAM would have made at Blair Mountain in 1921.

I always buy my local grocery store parking lot hermit an energy drink. We both like purple Rip Its.

Grandma, you can’t limp-wrist a .45 like that. You’re gonna get a busted lip and you’re gonna stovepipe like a motherfucker.

My mom got me this “protection” charm from a woo-ass lady at a farmer’s market once. It was cool looking, so I wore it on a tight necklace that couldn’t slip over my head, and I never took it off.

A couple years later, I was in a nasty rollover car accident that could easily have killed me. I walked away only mildly banged up. I realized later that day that the necklace was gone. I scoured the car and even went to the crash site looking for it. Never saw the thing again.

I worked overnights for 7 years in my late teens and early 20s. Pictures of me from then aren’t Saddam 10 minutes out of a hole bad, but they’re still pretty bad.

The real pro gamer move is to aggressively shake the can, breaking the contents into small pieces. Then you can simply drink your Pringles.

I hope it happens during the morning rush hour so my spouse rescue mission kicks off to a sophomoric rock station morning show.

HONKHONKHONK AWOOGA glass smash & cat screech HERBIE AND DINGHOLE MORNING HOUR ON 93X explosion HOW THE FUCK DO SHOWS LIKE THIS STILL EXIST IN 2023? sick guitar riff

Why? Does your local PD have really good music taste or something?