I think there is a tendency, at least in the early phase of discovering you’re queer, to believe there’s something remarkable about that. I certainly thought so for a while, especially because where I’m from being openly queer was not as prevalent 15 years ago as it is now. I’m happy to have friends who don’t treat me differently for being queer, who love and support me for who I am.
I’m no ActivityPub expert, but what people more knowledgeable than me have pointed out is that this results in fragmenting the Fediverse, which ends up hurting it on the long run. I’d definitely not want to be on an instance that federates with Facebook, but I also wish none of the larger ones choose to do so.