• 0 Posts
  • 89 Comments
Joined 7 months ago
Cake day: April 16th, 2024
  • TriflingToad@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•Am I insane?
    11·
    17 days ago

    well if you get a tungsten cube your mortality will be cured so you will be around in a million years

    Text version

    [5 stars amazon review of a Tungsten cube] This Cube Cured my Mortality

    All the people here who bought this wireless tungsten cube to admire its surreal heft have precisely the wrong mindset. I, in my exalted wisdom and unbridled ambition, bought this cube to become fully accustomed to the intensity of its density, to make its weight bearable and in fact normal to me, so that all the world around me may fade into a fluffy arena of gravitational inconsequence. And it has worked, to profound success. I have carried the tungsten with me, have grown attached to the downward pull of its small form, its desire to be one with the floor. This force has become so normal to me that lifting any other object now feels like lifting cotton candy, or a fluffy pillow. Big burly manly men who pump iron now seem to me as little children who raise mere aluminum.

    I can hardly remember the days before I became a man of tungsten. How distant those days seem now, how burdened by the apparent heaviness of everyday objects. I laugh at the philistines who still operate in a world devoid of tungsten, their shoulders thin and unempowered by the experience of bearing tungsten. Ha, what fools, blissful in their ignorance, anesthetized by their lack of meaningful struggle, devoid of passion.

    Nietzsche once said that a man who has a why can bear almost any how. But a man who has a tungsten cube can bear any object less dense, and all this talk of why and how becomes unnecessary.

    Schopenhauer once said that every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. Tungsten expands the limits of a man’s field of vision by showing him an example of increased density, in comparison to which the everyday objects to which he was formerly accustomed gain a light and airy quality. Who can lament the tragedy of life, when surrounded by such lightweight objects? Who can cry in a world of styrofoam and cushions?

    Have you yet understood? This is no ordinary metal. In this metal is the alchemical potential to transform your world, by transforming your expectations. Those who have not yet held the cube in their hands and mouths will not understand, for they still live in a world of normal density, like Plato’s cave dwellers. Those who have opened their mind to the density of tungsten will shift their expectations of weight and density accordingly.

    To give this cube a rating of anything less than five stars would be to condemn life itself. Who am I, as a mere mortal, to judge the most compact of all affordable materials? No. I say gratefully to whichever grand being may have created this universe: good job on the tungsten. It sure is dense.

    I sit here with my tungsten cube, transcendent above death itself. For insofar as this tungsten cube will last forever, I am in the presence of immortality.

  • TriflingToad@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•What's your favourite tree?
    3·
    18 days ago

    There was a HUGE oak tree at my grandma’s house. I mean it was MASSIVE covering like the whole yard and was like 5 feet in diameter.
    I grew up playing under it climbing limbs and swinging on a tire swing and a funner branch-seat swing which was lighter so it would go higher. Heres kinda how it looked:

    Anyways, in a hurricane a few years ago a large branch snapped off and it got infected and had to be chopped down :(

  • TriflingToad@lemmy.worldtocats@lemmy.world•Should i poop in his sock drawer? God i love that man….
    6·
    19 days ago

    my cats just dumb and can’t figure out that there’s more on the other 1/4 of the bowl under her chin. If I rotate the bowl she’ll start nomming but by herself she refuses to walk to the other side of the bowl. I’ve just accepted that it’s part of our routine that it’s one of those ‘eternal soups’ where you keep adding more and I’m sure it’s all gone but like what if there’s just a bit of kibble from 3 months ago at the bottom

  • TriflingToad@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•Hey Lemmings, whats some gibberish that we can say to throw off Machine Learning?
    8·
    25 days ago

    spam the phone keyboard prediction buttons 👍

    Minecraft server that I can get in the US is a good idea what time you want to go to the game is that it is a good idea to get it from you a little bit of the time when you get to the game is the first time you can still get it from the store and I can get it from you a little bit of the time when I get home and I can get it from you a little bit of the time when I get to the game is the first time you can still get it from you and I can just wait for it in a bit more than I thought it would be a good 😊😊😊😊😊 ol’ I was just thinking about you and I can just get it from the store and then I realized it is the ONLY way I don’t have it was it just feels it would have been a little better with me