The triceratops looks pretty shady to me

Exactly!

My grandmother said, “The time for tarts are when they’re passing.” She meant “take what’s offered when its offered,” but I want it printed on the programs at my funeral

This is one of those things that I never realized how much I wanted and needed it until I just learned of its existence

I’m in bed with a fractured wrist and an opoid intolerance/allergy. Where can I learn more about the dominant pain systems/different solutions you mentioned?

My first employer was Waffle House.

I was 16 on a dead afternoon shift after school one day when a couple came in and ordered some steak and eggs. I gave them their silverware plus some steak knives and wait for the food to cook. The only other people in the building are the meth-seasoned cook and this little old man and his little 6 year old daughter, so I’m back on my homework while I wait.

Another group comes in, three guys. I’m getting their menus ready so I can seat them and they were already gone. Whatever.

Five minutes later one of the guys comes back, walks swiftly and directly to the couple’s table, grabs a steak knife, and tries to STAB THE GUY because apparently the woman was his girlfriend and the guy was now persona non grata for Stabby Man.

Before I even process what’s going on, Little Old Man has teleported across the dining room and grappled this guy into a secure hold. Meanwhile he’s speaking to me in a sweet gentle grandfatherly voice, telling me to get the phone, call 911, etc.

Turns out the little old man was a retired Texas Ranger and if he wasn’t there that day, that probably would have been a really messy, traumatic day for everyone.

Again: this was a Wednesday afternoon in full daylight, not 4 am Waffle House Chaos Afterhours

They meant “Ohio is boring and there is nothing to do there,” I believe

If gold were a thing here, I would give it to you

Instead of Reddit Gold, may I offer you Lemmy Cold 🧊 ?