A friend used to routinely post about her children on Facebook and other SM, until someone claiming to be a grandmother tried to pick up one of her children from school. Fortunately, the school had safeguards in place and followed protocol. All those posts and pictures were deleted immediately.
She was a decent enough, but doting mom. She was proud of her kids and thought the whole world should be blessed with their antics. It wasn’t attention seeking or income generating. She just had a blind spot, assuming that because she wouldn’t dream of doing that, no one else would. And it is sad, to me, that she was robbed if that innocence in a very visceral way; but she did learn a valuable lesson and never forgot it, either
I think we need to agree to disagree here. Being a parent in this world is (depending on your social status) a dangerous project that asks for a lot of responsibility.
A billion things can happen and it can kill, maim, traumatize or change your kid forever. I know because I have been one of those kids who grew up under „naive“ parents. Its hell. Life is hell afterwards.
So this is definitely triggering for me and I‘m not gonna give in to my instincts here since nobody deserves to go through what I went through. Suffice it to say that naive parents are not fit to be parents imo.
IMO the problem is that we expect at most 2 people to share the responsibilities of parenting, when we should be sharing that responsibility across like 20 people or even more.
The idea of one or two people solely raising a child is insane, for most of human history children have been collectively raised by the tribe/village.
We’re not solitary predators god damnit, we’re one of the most social species on this planet! If even cats share the responsibility of raising children whenever they’re able to, it should be pretty clear that we’re not made to raise them on our own either.
I don’t mean to minimise the problems you’ve encountered at all.
I’m a new parent and just trying to figure all of this out. There’s always competing guidance, information, and interests to be weighed. It’s not easy to make the right choices.
Yes, its one of the reasons I decided not to have children. the most people arent this naive or even plain abusive or negligent. You saying that its actually not just easy to do shows that you’re most likely not the problem. the people who are the problem immediately discard it or make fun of it.
your comment is very reductive imo. sharing private stuff with millions of people has nothing to do with tech literacy. besides that, my experiences arent stuff to make jokes about.
It has everything to do with tech literacy. Understanding how to use technology includes the consequences of that use.
Sure I’ll take the discussion more seriously: I don’t know what your experiences were and im sure you have valid reasons to be upset. But your comment makes no indication of these experiences, and I’m not expecting you to share them, you make no indication of wanting to.
Projecting those traumas into a cudgel with which to judge strangers harshly on a whim however is going to be behavior that gets pushback. I don’t think that child has unloving parents, nor deserves to be taken to a new family because the parents made a mistake they clearly learned from. I think they broadly reacted well to the situation in a system (surveillance capitalism) which does a poor job, possibly an actively malicious job, of educating people about the downsides of existing in and using features of that system. Maybe they, if digging deeper, have failed to learn or are in fact unloving. But based on the information available, I don’t think that’s a fair assessment.
I hope you are doing well and wish you luck handling your past and your goals related to it.
In that case we probably have to agree to disagree. Showing your kid off to the world is bound to have an effect on certain people and these people are there, no matter how much you want big tech and the government to take responsibility.
Do we have suveilance|turbo|latestage capitalism? Absolutely! Do we need to stop that, yes. Does the absence of it make any kind of fame painting a crosshair on your back stop? No. Thats a social phenomenon and irritatingly logical.
And while I do share my experiences with people, I‘m socially literate enough to know what to share and when. Because lemmy is very much the local pub and sharing trauma or triggers in a random environment gets you in all kinds of trouble.
So no, I dont think sharing your kids everything on the internet makes it okay to happen anything bad to you or your kid. The reason I commented was that I got the notion that its regarded as „the parent has done nothing wrong or could have no known better“ which I fully disagree with. Otherwise I have just understood wrongly and/or got triggered by it, which for a change is no big deal in opposition to oversharing the life of a non consenting being.
A friend used to routinely post about her children on Facebook and other SM, until someone claiming to be a grandmother tried to pick up one of her children from school. Fortunately, the school had safeguards in place and followed protocol. All those posts and pictures were deleted immediately.
Its so sad that stuff like this needs to happen before people wake up. The kids dont deserve failures like this as parents.
She was a decent enough, but doting mom. She was proud of her kids and thought the whole world should be blessed with their antics. It wasn’t attention seeking or income generating. She just had a blind spot, assuming that because she wouldn’t dream of doing that, no one else would. And it is sad, to me, that she was robbed if that innocence in a very visceral way; but she did learn a valuable lesson and never forgot it, either
I think we need to agree to disagree here. Being a parent in this world is (depending on your social status) a dangerous project that asks for a lot of responsibility.
A billion things can happen and it can kill, maim, traumatize or change your kid forever. I know because I have been one of those kids who grew up under „naive“ parents. Its hell. Life is hell afterwards.
So this is definitely triggering for me and I‘m not gonna give in to my instincts here since nobody deserves to go through what I went through. Suffice it to say that naive parents are not fit to be parents imo.
Most people are not fit to be parents.
IMO the problem is that we expect at most 2 people to share the responsibilities of parenting, when we should be sharing that responsibility across like 20 people or even more.
The idea of one or two people solely raising a child is insane, for most of human history children have been collectively raised by the tribe/village.
We’re not solitary predators god damnit, we’re one of the most social species on this planet! If even cats share the responsibility of raising children whenever they’re able to, it should be pretty clear that we’re not made to raise them on our own either.
I’m sorry for your experience, and do hope you find the healing to alleviate triggers. I wish you all the best on your journey.
Thank you very much!
It’s a super difficult line to walk.
I don’t mean to minimise the problems you’ve encountered at all.
I’m a new parent and just trying to figure all of this out. There’s always competing guidance, information, and interests to be weighed. It’s not easy to make the right choices.
Yes, its one of the reasons I decided not to have children. the most people arent this naive or even plain abusive or negligent. You saying that its actually not just easy to do shows that you’re most likely not the problem. the people who are the problem immediately discard it or make fun of it.
Just wait until you hear about all the ways parents used to also fail their children.
Technological literacy is ideal, but lacking it is hardly a failure of character.
your comment is very reductive imo. sharing private stuff with millions of people has nothing to do with tech literacy. besides that, my experiences arent stuff to make jokes about.
It has everything to do with tech literacy. Understanding how to use technology includes the consequences of that use.
Sure I’ll take the discussion more seriously: I don’t know what your experiences were and im sure you have valid reasons to be upset. But your comment makes no indication of these experiences, and I’m not expecting you to share them, you make no indication of wanting to.
Projecting those traumas into a cudgel with which to judge strangers harshly on a whim however is going to be behavior that gets pushback. I don’t think that child has unloving parents, nor deserves to be taken to a new family because the parents made a mistake they clearly learned from. I think they broadly reacted well to the situation in a system (surveillance capitalism) which does a poor job, possibly an actively malicious job, of educating people about the downsides of existing in and using features of that system. Maybe they, if digging deeper, have failed to learn or are in fact unloving. But based on the information available, I don’t think that’s a fair assessment.
I hope you are doing well and wish you luck handling your past and your goals related to it.
Thanks for elaborating.
In that case we probably have to agree to disagree. Showing your kid off to the world is bound to have an effect on certain people and these people are there, no matter how much you want big tech and the government to take responsibility.
Do we have suveilance|turbo|latestage capitalism? Absolutely! Do we need to stop that, yes. Does the absence of it make any kind of fame painting a crosshair on your back stop? No. Thats a social phenomenon and irritatingly logical.
And while I do share my experiences with people, I‘m socially literate enough to know what to share and when. Because lemmy is very much the local pub and sharing trauma or triggers in a random environment gets you in all kinds of trouble.
So no, I dont think sharing your kids everything on the internet makes it okay to happen anything bad to you or your kid. The reason I commented was that I got the notion that its regarded as „the parent has done nothing wrong or could have no known better“ which I fully disagree with. Otherwise I have just understood wrongly and/or got triggered by it, which for a change is no big deal in opposition to oversharing the life of a non consenting being.