Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It’s not that I get mad and take it out on others, it’s just the fact that I’m constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I’ll get pissed that I didn’t wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I’m cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, “well that sucks” and just get over it.
Buddhism, meditation, and generally knowing that everything is temporary. Gratitude / “counting your blessings” helps increase general happiness, as it’s easy to forget what’s going right
I feel that. I have a good 6 figure job, my kids don’t want for any thing, but are not spoiled. I have a supportive and loving wife. So I always feel a little guilty for complaining. I know there are people way worse off than me. I know every problem I have is 100% first world problems. But I also know that doesn’t discount my stresses.
I really think the Buddhist are doing things right. Ive tried meditating but my ADHD makes it damn near impossible. Maybe I need to find someone who can help with it.
Can’t speak to ADHD in particular and don’t want to discount the difficulty it adds, but one of the biggest hills I always have to get over is not judging my own thoughts. It’s easy to get frustrated that you aren’t able to achieve a more still mindset but at the end of the day the thoughts of judgement are just thoughts that can be observed like any other.
Have you ever tried Wim Hof breathing techniques? I also have ADHD and I have a really hard time with meditation but it works for me.
It also sounds like it could be possible that this is at least partially an issue with your body chemistry. There are so so many little things that can affect the brain, like maybe a medication or any other drugs you might take, a food you’re not fully aware that you’re a bit allergic to, inflammation, a malfunctioning brain chemistry such as an anxiety disorder, etc.
Here’s a link to the Wim Hof video if you’re interested. Just be aware that people get weirdly cultish about him, and I’m not sure I would follow everything he recommends, but this particular exercise helps my anxiety a lot.
https://youtu.be/tybOi4hjZFQ?si=yHTjE7QlNITNP6ff
Try it like this: go for a walk in nature and focus on the senses. Try to really feel yourself walking, feel the clothes on your body, the wind, the distant sounds. As things enter your perception, be grateful for them. The dogs and children, the leaves and sun. Perhaps contemplate how: (1) this sensation (of ex “dog”) feels inside you (2) the miracle of its construction, the billions of particles, the quantum effects underneath, and the orchestral perfection of its movement (3) all the relationships people have with their dogs (4) how dogs affect the entire world
This technique gives you a large “surface area” for gratitude droplets to coalesce. With a little repetition, you can get very high doing this technique, making it fun and self reinforcing. Ultimately all sensations can be integrated into your larger self-experience, changing the small, separate identity, into a large all encompassing compassionate one
My understanding: the fundamental skills are attention (focus/zoning in), awareness (broad attention of sensation), and gratitude (compassion/metta/love). You can train these skills whenever is the most enjoyable, including painting, dance, gardening, working out. Gratitude is the one that makes the most happiness up front, check out the “hedonic treadmill”
Meditation practice. Key word is practice. Watch thoughts and emotions come and go thousands of times.
Last one is the biggest one for me. Everything else might follow once you master that.