They quietly jot down everyone’s updates, circle the words they don’t understand, attempt to look up what those words mean, then say them in the next stand up completely out of context and incorrectly.

Always thought scrum master and product owner should really just be the same position. Or scrum master and BA

Hey man, that’s not cool. Once I finish this round of Fortnite, take a 2 hour lunch, and go afk at 4 I’ll reply to this in 2 or 3 days asking you for an update

When you have a team lead, technical lead, QA lead, FE lead, BE lead, Engineering Manager and head of engineering, I think most SMs give up trying to get the team to self manage, seems like no one else is interested in that!