In one of the bathrooms at my workplace, the light timer used to be far too short. It reacted to sound, but not very well, so whenever it switched off, you’d hear me clapping my hands like a dumbass.

Then one day, I had a co-sitting with another guy. And of course, the light went out on us. I was already thinking, great, now I’ll get to applaud that guy shitting.

But instead, the guy lifted his leg, stomped a single time and the light went back on. That was the day I learnt that I’m a rookie at pooping.