Nice! As someone who attends sex therapy, here are some questions that have helped me explore why I feel the way I feel and do what I do. I hope they help.

When you have the urge to masturbate or look at porn…

• Check in and see if you feel anxious or stressed. If so, Is this your body’s way of coping with stress? If this coping mechanism is causing additional stress, see if you can introduce other activities and thought patterns to relieve stress or anxiety.
• Think about when the habit was formed. Was there anything going on in your life that you were trying to avoid? Trying to escape from? See if you can pinpoint some events and try to process those events. If they are traumatic events, keep reminding yourself that you are safe and that there is no danger.
• Do you have a sense of shame around this? Try to sus out why and how and what it’s pointing to. Was this formed by religion, authority figures, society, or your own process? Is the shame centered around sex generally, the act of masturbation, other people knowing your secret, etc? Does this shame have roots in strong emotions like fear and, if so, what is that fear based in (harming others, getting caught, hurting myself, etc)>

The reason this is important is that shaming yourself or just forcing yourself to stop won’t get to the root causes of the problem, which could be biological, psychological, sociological, etc. I’d really encourage you to do some of this work alongside your abstinence.

Good job on your first day comrade. I hope these activities help you explore some root causes here that will help with long term recovery.