It’s been a year since I spoke to my family, and this is the first thanksgiving I’m missing. I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of never having my thoughts and feelings taken seriously, either because I’m a child and therefore lesser than my parents, or because I’m a communist. They begged me to be a libertarian instead a couple years ago, lmao (they’re liberals, or at least they think they are). The final straw was Palestine. Everyone called me antisemitic last Thanksgiving, and I’m not dealing with that again.

The distance has let me reflect on how my parents raised me. Although they never hit me, there were a few fucked-up situations that with hindsight prove they never respected me. They think they love me, but they don’t. They love the concept of me as a relatively successful son, and familial peace.

It would be nice to have a family, but I’m so exhausted by it. I’ve never really had a good relationship with my family, so I don’t even know what it would look like if I forgave them and they magically changed how they speak to me. I hope they get over their racism and transphobia, but I can’t try to change them anymore

I already had a wonderful friendsgiving with a bunch of lovely people, and I’m going to my friend’s family’s Thanksgiving tonight. She’s lost family in Gaza and the West Bank this year.