Just look at animemes banning the use of tr*p. Of course not every anime is misogynist but… there’s kinda a lot. And I think there’s a lot of blatant misogyny that is definitely noticed, and people who watch those scenes know it’s bad, but if you keep watching that shit over and over, even if you know it’s bad, it just get burned into your brain. But more importantly, a lot of anime just treats women as a whole differently than the male characters. Their drawn slightly differently, they act slightly differently, and they continue to be treated as objects, albeit in more subtle ways. On their own or in a bubble these grievances wouldn’t be a big deal, but it does add up. Idk, shit just sucks and it makes it hard to get into shows I would really like otherwise…
I think you’re right that there is a reinforcing/normalizing relationship going on there. Most Anime isn’t made with western audiences in mind - a lot of it is made basically as an advertisement for the toys that are marketed to the super fans, who are essentially addicts (see also: alcohol, where 50% of the sales go to 10% of the drinkers). Even if you get into the business with reasonable female characters, there is a massive market pressure to turn them into hyper-sexualized stereotypes because that’s what sells plastic figures and body pillow covers, and if you choose to stick to your guns and buck that trend your IP will be drowned out by those that don’t.
It’s an artistic medium whose mainstream content is primarily driven by the desires of disaffected men - so naturally it reinforces their worst tendencies.