What’re you into, what’re you looking forward to, what’re you happy about?
Please
I am feeling terribly self-harmy in advance of my birthday next week
I got to the point of making a pros and cons chart
give me something to be vicariously happy about or something to look forward to, please
My partner made extremely yummy food! I failed to beat Malenia again today, so that’s 2 days of trying, but I’ll get there. I made it to phase 2 today, so it’s only a matter of time!
In general, I am extremely fortunate to have made it to a point where I truly don’t feel like my life is missing anything, and can reliably keep a roof over my head with some savings. I know this is more than many people can say for themselves, but I allow myself to be happy about my own position, as I’m ultimately just another worker.
I wish I could reach out and help you, but in absence of that I want to say I am here to lend an ear if you need help. It does get better. I used to think about harming myself daily, even hourly, but I can say that over time those feelings have become far less frequent. It still happens every once in a while, or I’ll get extremely anxious, but forward progress keeps me hopeful.
I hope you have a happy birthday!
thank you very much ❤️
How did you get to the point of feeling like you’re making progress?
also, what’s Malenia?
No problem!
It took a lot of time, and a lot of change. A few years ago I had a really bad job, no friends, and no family nearby to speak of. I had moved far away for a job for a fresh start, with no safety net. Conditions were unsafe, working hours were long with no overtime, and higher-ups were abusive. I had no safety net, so I stuck with it for a while to escape it.
Eventually, I met my partner while working there, a true sweetheart. I found a new job, we moved to a new city, got another fresh start, but this time I had a better career and a safety net. Things got better, got back to cooking and reading, and really was able to feel content.
Basically, a whole lot of luck, and the willingness and ability to get out.
One thing I want to stress is that there were several times where I felt hopeless and with no way out, but time passing really does change everything.
As for Malenia, she is a boss in Elden Ring, haha. I’ve had a bit of extra time lately and wanted to finally play it. Beat her last night, finally!
Congratulations on beating Malenia, and thank you very much for sharing some hope with me