this and more vicious self-owns, only in this incredible grass-toucher post (again)

I used to have irl friends but they all turned out to be horrible people or libs or whatever, I used to have leddit but leddit is fucking poisonous, I used to have discord servers and shit but I tend to pass into and out of discord groups with worrying ease, also I cant stop saying “another kkkracka down” at grampa’s funeral

now I have bear website and it’s the place I want to talk, what the fuck else even is there? where else would even tolerate me? any attempt to reach out and join communities or groups anywhere would probably result in critical psychic damage, also I still will not go into the queer center in town, what the fuck

bear website is the only spot where talking to people has a decent chance of not being a painful affair

hexagonal ursine webzone

  • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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    5 months ago

    My town is a fucking hole lmao I live in a retirement town

    I absolutely would not know where to find people but even if I did, I am so woefully socially inept that it would be pointless anyway

    No apology needed you didnt do anything wrong

    • Nakoichi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      5 months ago

      Go find a local dive bar that looks queer friendly. I have met so many cool people either playing pool or singing Karaoke. Met some Moroccan dudes at a bar the other day that saw my palestine pins and we all joined arms over shoulders dancing around chanting “free free Palestine” and it was the funnest night in a very long time. I’ll probably never meet them again but it was a beautiful moment. I also met a comrade from Colombia at the same Karaoke night and we hung out every night for like a whole week and I promised to help him practice more informal english.

      And I don’t know if you’re interested in bar scenes but there are some very wholesome ones depending where you are.

      • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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        5 months ago

        I unironically and sincerely envy your life. Seems incredible.

        Idk what a queer friendly bar is here, I have never been in a bar. There is a queer bar here but it is run by a xenophobe.

        To be real talking to people irl will fast result in dropped spaghetti from me

        • Nakoichi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          5 months ago

          Yeah just gotta learn some good spots and then excuse yourself from any conversation that gives you bad vibes, I also have suffered from severely crippling social anxiety for most of my life due to being bullied a lot as a kid/teen but with some long time spent learning to just dive in and keep my guard up I have learned a lot about how to sus out good people to hang out with. I even crashed some random college party on my way home one night cuz I heard their music blasting and was like hey what’s going on over here? over the fence. After I explained that I was just a neighbor and wasn’t being crochety about their loud music, I just wasn’t ready to call it a night yet, they invited me in and fed me fried rice and grilled chicken.

          Now granted I still suffer from severe depression, but going out and taking risks like that has helped me a lot, not just in distracting me from hellworld but reminding myself that they may not be the norm but you’d be surprised how many cool folks are out there. I’ve even met a lot of boomer comrades just by striking up conversations and listening to older folks.

          Also gives me lots of opportunities to evangelize about the immortal science of Marxist Leninism.

          • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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            5 months ago

            It seems to hurt anywhere from a little bit to extremely severely every time I try to do anything though. If I can’t even pretend to be a real person online, what’s gonna happen irl? Also parties, ech.

            Your life sounds awesome though, god I wish that were me

            • Nakoichi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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              5 months ago

              It seems to hurt anywhere from a little bit to extremely severely every time I try to do anything though.

              That’s rough and I can relate, and obviously if you’re more comfortable just hanging out and shitposting with the little gay people in your phone that’s totally valid, but it might be worth a shot. Of course if you have a car or anything resembling decent public transit it certainly widens your options.

            • StalinStan [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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              5 months ago

              There is a paradox. If you can’t socialize well you can learn to enjoy doing it poorly. I was briefly part of a bdsm wearwolf club. No one there was capable of regular human interaction and we all gave eachother the space to enjoy that. It was nice until us all being antisocial nerds caused drama. So maybe that was too off the grid but there is probably a weird place where we could all fit in the world. You know, exaggerations of capitalism permitting.

              • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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                5 months ago

                waow-based tfw no bdsm werewolf club full of socially inept dorks

                I would like a place like that but Idk where you would get one, or how to enjoy sucking at talking.

                • StalinStan [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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                  5 months ago

                  It is weird but I feel like I had had the most luck of late finding weird nerds to do nerd stuff with on fetlife. Not for everyone, and actually not as great for dating. Howver they are people that are 1. Used to going to events 2. Nerdy and weird. So in terms of finding a social group it is hard to get both in other places. Like 90% of everyone there woudl be down to play board games if you asked. Failing that the furry community probably has a something close enough you can check out. They are usually good nerds to visit. Then larp groups. Then finally board game shops / hobby shops. Doping on how populous your area is you can have more or less luck. In some places there are juggalos which we have come to learn are officially comrades in good standing.

                  • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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                    5 months ago

                    I am married =) I can confirm that I have met very cool kink people fwiw so you’re probably right

                    Also yeah Idk if furries are around here tbh. What if I just hang out in c/furry a lot, huh??

            • novibe@lemmy.ml
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              5 months ago

              “I go to parties”

              “Parties, ech… (…) your life sounds awesome!”

              I… if you think their “life” sounds awesome, what part? If parties are “ech”?

              No diss or anything, I think staying in and shitposting on the internet is super cool, I do it myself 90% of my free time.

              Just… confused about what you like/find awesome in the commenters “life”.

              • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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                5 months ago

                Look right, listen here:

                Inside me there are two wolves

                two-wolves-1 “House parties are such horrible college bullshit, fucking loud, sensory overload ass”

                two-wolves-2 “God I wish that were me, witness Nakoichi’s utter social freedom and abikity to vibe with people, what a hero tbh”

                Any more goofy questions? kobeni-gun

                • novibe@lemmy.ml
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                  5 months ago

                  I mean if you want to give parties a try, don’t go to shitty house parties… go to a good electronic music party with good DJs where the people go for the music.

                  Always the nicest people, most respectful crowds, real “tribal ceremony” vibes. Wear earplugs, comfy sneakers and clothes etc.

                  I hate feeling overstimulated as well, and I’m practically anti-social, but going to a good party feels like a spiritual experience tbh. Might be the drugs tho. They do help.

                  • magi [null/void]@hexbear.net
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                    5 months ago

                    This assumes you’d be treated with basic respect, which over time I have not. I have had people actively ignore me in person to the point of me sitting on my own in a crowd being actively ignored by several people etc.
                    Literally the meme where the person at the party is on their own in the corner is what I’ve been personally treated like when I have been in that kind of situation… Along with using various means of softening the experience (drugs/alcohol) and it’s never a good idea… I’ve also been around some of the most toxic people and a far more hostile environment that many here would be accustomed to. But I’ve had that experience of putting myself out there but a lot of the time it’s never worth it and I’ve regretted a lot personally…

                  • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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                    5 months ago

                    See the vibe I’m getting from a bunch of different places is that I should take loads of fucking drugs. Laura Kate Dale even said MDMA makes you more sociable and open! (At the potential cost of addiction lmao)

                    I’m not even sure I could internally manage a crowd that big though. It sounds like a fun experience, but Idk if it would actually be.